Cookie Conundrum

I had intended to skip buying Girl Scout cookies this year but I opted to HOP instead. The Troop mothers frown on the practice but it helps me work off calories. No actually my intention was REALLY to avoid buying ANY Girl Scout cookies this year. I’m not mad at the Girl Scout Organization or those little hunks of butter ( uh … I mean the COOKIES not the SCOUTS) . My baked good affection has long been established as dangerous, so I just was trying to avoid testing my cookie willpower that’s all.

But as fate would have it, the year I choose to make a principled stand, the underground cookie cartel thwarts me at every turn. In the old days it would be impossible to avoid those insidious cookie pushers because all of my daughter’s friends, and the kids of co-workers would be dealing cookies from street corners. An obligatory box from these people, another from a workmate, two from the kid next door – you know the drill. Eventually caloric crenellations were formed around the house from boxes upon boxes of Girl Scout’s finest.

Since most of the neighborhood cookie kids grew up to be productive adults, I thought finally this year I would have a chance to shun the little crumbs and their cookies. But ‘NO’, I try to get into a Home Improvement store and there is a NEW batch of girls hawking cookies and wanting my dough. The next day, when I went into the grocery store, the exits were clear; but by the time I left and was on my way out – “BAM”, another barrage of cookie girls. This is unbelievable especially since I had bought one of those packs of ‘duplex sandwich ‘ cookies at the grocery at twice the quantity and HALF the price of the Scout’s stuff.

To top it all off, my Aunt stopped by in her impossibly happy glory. She had not one but TWO boxes of Thin Mint cookies. She and my Uncle are on a NEW diet so APPARENTLY the first person they thought of to kill-off with 10,000 calories was me! Thanks Aunty for dumping your highly addictive minty discs packed in two convenient glassine packs. My former overweight brother-in-law referred to those as “magazines”. He could unload a couple of those bad boy magazines with a quart of milk as fast as I could un-box them.

So once again my house is surrounded by stacks of habit-forming cookies. I froze some of the ones my Aunt brought. My wife oddly, keeps a tray of the Samoas by her computer and protects them like a Lioness with a little coconut cub. I used to prefer the Trefoils but then they eliminated the sugary top so now I literally get LESS for my money. I’m truly in an addicted conundrum. I am hoping there is some kind of 12 step program to help me - ‘cause it’ll take at LEAST that many to grab a box of Tagalongs and a tall cold glass of milk!