Top Dog

The much maligned hot dog has always intrigued me. I think they taste fine, but most of the time I buy the cheapest packs that are on sale so I do not have a lot to compare to. I believe that I prefer all beef hot dogs, but again due to my thriftiness it is the chicken, pork, and beef variety that I usually get to eat. Let’s face it, the hot dog is not really the main event for most of us anyway. It is all that goop and the add-ons that we slather on top of the dogs which makes ‘em special.

You could have a hunk of an old suitcase on a bun and I would eat it if prepared with onions, mustard, relish, hot peppers, and maybe a touch of cheese. So like the Space Shuttle, the hot dog itself is merely the BOOSTER and delivery system for all the ‘important stuff’ (on the inside of your refrigerator door) . That means that I DO need the dog to be there to fulfill the mission, but I really do not want to know anything else about it once it’s there. I do not want to know what it is made of or how bad it is for me. I do not want it to have a “skin” which resists slightly before ‘popping’ as I break through to the meat. I do not want hard chunks or unprocessed bits of ANY KIND inside the dog itself.

Now on the outside, I think anything goes. In fact the more gaudy and colorful the pallet of sauces, relish, and chunky toppings the better. Today we ate at a local place called ‘Surf Dogs’. They’ll put on full sized sport peppers and lime green relish on their Chicago dogs. We bought a sampler to try 4 miniature versions of any of their specialty dogs. They have a program where they will put your picture up if you can eat 10 of their hot dogs in 30 minutes or less. Amazingly I noticed that 4 out of 5 of the people pictured on the board were FAT! My wife analyzed the board statistics of a sample of 35 patrons who had eaten at least 10 DIFFERENT dogs at this place. It looked like Chicago dogs were king as the favorite of 20%, with Chili a close second at 15%. It was a fun place.

To this day I still love the Sam’s / Costco quarter pound hot dogs for under $1.75 with a soda. I remember in California that SAME deal was about a $1.50 nearly 20 years ago at the first warehouse club stores named the Price Club. In Las Vegas, I have seen a huge foot long half pounder dog for $2 at Slots o’ Fun near Circus Circus. I would have tried one but did not want to wait in line. Pink’s in Hollywood has world famous dogs and I believe now Planet Hollywood has franchised a unit in Vegas as well? So it’s clear I do not have any ‘beef’ with a top hot dog joint or their tubular specialties. My only problem is how I can eat 10 hot dogs in 30 minutes and get on Surf Dog’s restaurant list without adding a 5th FAT person picture to their board!