Strange bathroom bedfellows

Except for the kitchen, I would guess our home’s bathrooms are just about the most important places we can occupy. Oh sure a comfy bed is important but I can sleep almost anywhere when I sweep the peanut shells away. But after I’ve jostled that gut-harbored chili dog in the car all day or just double chugged a 2 liter bottle of soda , that white-tiled echo chamber is my true sanctuary.

Of course the odd things you find in a bathroom are not all organic. I recently found my wife’s freakish pairing of technology in a nail clipper with a tiny built-in light and a giant magnifying glass. While I understand that along with Ol’ Susanna, we geezers in training have been around the bend a few times, I have to be honest, I don’t want to see any giant toe parts and ‘3D’ finger nails all 'sunshiny' bright in my face’!

Can somebody also explain to me the allure of having nose tissues with built-in goo in them? These ‘Puff’ brand facial tissues seem to be very proud of the fact that they have some kind of lotion woven inside the tissue fabric. Gee, silly me - I thought the whole purpose of Kleenix was to get the wet stuff off my nose, not put it on?

Finally, the showers in my house have phones built-in to the wall. I am not sure why this was a good idea originally but doesn’t everyone think that Ma Bell is all wet? Even assuming that I WANT to take down a message while washing my hair, I never can find anywhere to stick my pencil!