I received a Twitter message from a friend of my daughter. It simply announced “I’m Nineteen today, my last teenage year” followed by a ’happy’ text smiley. Oddly, that message struck me with both sadness and joy, for this friend and of course my own kid who would soon be facing the same chronological marker.
I am thrilled on a number of levels. I can think back to my own youth and although you don’t know it at the time, you are as about as free as you ever will be. You are in that stage between being a kid not taken seriously, and an adult who is all too serious. You may work, but it has not yet likely become a career to which you and your bosses demand undivided loyalty and lifetime devotion. You still giggle for no reason and screw up but don’t feel sorry about it. Life is scary but in that ‘goosebump-inducing” ‘excitement of the unknown’ kind of way.
I am sad too because this time of freedom is oh so fleeting and nearly at an end. Suddenly nature takes its toll and soon you have a significant other involved in your affairs. Now the simplicity of doing even little things becomes more complex. Who’s parents do we see when; When can we meet that does not conflict with work schedules; What bills did you pay and what did you forget? You’re busy, so busy in fact that the years roll by and speed up with each turn of the calendar.
Now despite the tone, the message is not as it may first appear. Like most parents, my sadness is truly tempered with overwhelming awe and pride. Given all the pitfalls of life and the chances to be hit by cars, trees or the business end of sharp things – these kids have made it. Through all the high school drama, the (not so) friends who talked behind your back; the uninteresting teachers; the PE classes that you just could never quite make it to the top of the rope – it all doesn’t matter anymore. That’s old news now and an unlimited future is fervently knocking at the door.
As a parent, I stewarded my kid through all of it, just as my folks did for me, and their parents before them. We nurtured, taught, fought and cried, and got up the next day to do it all over again. We relished in every moment through the “last teenage year” and we’ll get up and cherish all others that follow, no matter how fleeting. We have done our jobs well and we’ll never be more proud of anything else we’ve ever done, or will ever do. :)
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Address me carefully
One of my favorite jokes is short and sweet : “You can call me anything as long as you call me to dinner”. My father told me that funny many years ago and its one of the few I can remember easily due to its short and pithy punch line. Really, I don’t mind what people actually call me, but I’ll admit as manly as I try to be, I am a bit sensitive of how my name appears in print.
Between various organization’s normal marketing efforts and charity contributions, we often receive ‘free’ address labels along with a solicitation envelope for another hopeful donation. It used to be kind of a unique and welcomed promotion since it saved me writing our return address repeatedly at Christmas. But now, I think so many organizations have stepped into the fold, unless you move to a new house every month, you’ll never want to see your name in print again.
It must be very difficult for the places that actually want to SELL address labels. Why would I ever buy more of these things? I also used to purchase a rubber stamp with my current address on it. But with the advent of online bill payments and these charity address labels, who needs ‘em?
The real thing that drives me nuts about the charity address labels is that they always come with some kind of ‘icon’ on them. Now given my thrifty nature, it is impossible for me to throw away a perfectly good sticky label no matter what the graphics are. BUT even I start to cringe when those labels have a little gold butterfly on them or interlocked rainbow hearts next to my name and address. Better still, how about the labels with a Cupie doll character shedding a single tear or the silhouette of a sparkly ‘fairy’. My GOD, what man, except cheap old ME, would mail letters with this stuff by their name?
I am not slamming anyone’s lifestyle or choice in art. I like little cuddly panda bears and colorful umbrellas as much as the next girl. It’s just typically NOT the representative image that I introduce myself with when first meeting someone. Once they get to know me and my personality, then fine, let them see the real Oz – smiling ladybugs; pink bunnies; … go ahead, BRING ‘EM ON!
Also you would think with the vast amount of address labels out there, at least a few would be geared towards the male perspective or at least be a bit more edgy. I’d like to see some address labels with ‘underwear’ on them. Why not some kind of tool like a pair of pliers or my personal favorite, a ‘dogbone’ wrench? Men’s labels should be printed with big blocky letters so ‘rivets’ dot the ‘I’s’ rather than flowing, graceful script. Men are not delicate and clean – we like metal looking, wrinkled stuff with stains and oily grime all over it. Men still lick their labels – none of that girly self-adhesive for us!
Ok, enough ranting. I’ve got to get to the post office and mail off my Census form. I used a happy rainbow self-sticking return address label. The icon depicts people crawling under the U.S. border fence grabbing the pot of gold (No hidden message there?). It’s about to rain so I’ll unfurl my ‘strawberry shortcake’ child-size umbrella on my way out. Hmmm, I sure need to ‘man-up’ a bit more before people get the wrong idea. Anyone seen a can of WD-40 and my underpants?
Between various organization’s normal marketing efforts and charity contributions, we often receive ‘free’ address labels along with a solicitation envelope for another hopeful donation. It used to be kind of a unique and welcomed promotion since it saved me writing our return address repeatedly at Christmas. But now, I think so many organizations have stepped into the fold, unless you move to a new house every month, you’ll never want to see your name in print again.
It must be very difficult for the places that actually want to SELL address labels. Why would I ever buy more of these things? I also used to purchase a rubber stamp with my current address on it. But with the advent of online bill payments and these charity address labels, who needs ‘em?
The real thing that drives me nuts about the charity address labels is that they always come with some kind of ‘icon’ on them. Now given my thrifty nature, it is impossible for me to throw away a perfectly good sticky label no matter what the graphics are. BUT even I start to cringe when those labels have a little gold butterfly on them or interlocked rainbow hearts next to my name and address. Better still, how about the labels with a Cupie doll character shedding a single tear or the silhouette of a sparkly ‘fairy’. My GOD, what man, except cheap old ME, would mail letters with this stuff by their name?
I am not slamming anyone’s lifestyle or choice in art. I like little cuddly panda bears and colorful umbrellas as much as the next girl. It’s just typically NOT the representative image that I introduce myself with when first meeting someone. Once they get to know me and my personality, then fine, let them see the real Oz – smiling ladybugs; pink bunnies; … go ahead, BRING ‘EM ON!
Also you would think with the vast amount of address labels out there, at least a few would be geared towards the male perspective or at least be a bit more edgy. I’d like to see some address labels with ‘underwear’ on them. Why not some kind of tool like a pair of pliers or my personal favorite, a ‘dogbone’ wrench? Men’s labels should be printed with big blocky letters so ‘rivets’ dot the ‘I’s’ rather than flowing, graceful script. Men are not delicate and clean – we like metal looking, wrinkled stuff with stains and oily grime all over it. Men still lick their labels – none of that girly self-adhesive for us!
Ok, enough ranting. I’ve got to get to the post office and mail off my Census form. I used a happy rainbow self-sticking return address label. The icon depicts people crawling under the U.S. border fence grabbing the pot of gold (No hidden message there?). It’s about to rain so I’ll unfurl my ‘strawberry shortcake’ child-size umbrella on my way out. Hmmm, I sure need to ‘man-up’ a bit more before people get the wrong idea. Anyone seen a can of WD-40 and my underpants?
The end of the Riverboat Road
When I moved to the St. Louis area about a decade ago, there were still remnants of its colorful past. I was quickly educated that the Zoo’s birdcage aviary, stables, and Forest Park in general were all part of the 1904 World’s Fair. But probably no other icon better represents the rich history of life along the Mississippi than the glorious Riverboat. At the turn of the century the boats were the work horses in modern river transportation.
My first visit to the Arch also featured a visit to the one and only McDonald’s restaurant on a riverboat. It was docked on the riverfront and a unique way to share a burger and a truly ‘Happy’ meal. I was lucky to eat there because by the Millennium it was gone. Also from the vantage point atop the Arch you could clearly see the Admiral riverboat casino though I never have been on it. Soon it too will be gone, as it surrenders it’s gaming license and place on the St. Louis riverfront by Summer 2010.
My favorite riverboat memory was boarding the Goldenrod dinner boat theater over in St. Charles. I really would look forward to those fun Sunday Matinee shows. Yes, the boat was a little seedy and the food was average, but the experience and history on board was unmatched. Many a famous performer had worked the stage on that little boat over the decades. Sadly it was sold off and removed from the St. Charles riverfront about 5 years back.
So today I see that the old Robert E. Lee replica riverboat restaurant caught fire and burned to the hull in Kimmswick, Missouri. I had the pleasure of eating at the place with my in-laws a few years ago. The food was average for a dinner house, but again sitting dockside on top of a big sternwheeler, looking out over the river, is an experience we will never forget. Its death basically leaves the river in the hands of a few remaining stalwart commercial businesses.
Barge jockeys still move salt and coal up and down the river. There are a few small tour boats with quaint names like the ’Mark Twain’ that roam the Mississippi too. These are little more than highly decorated flat boats with a wheel house and fake smokestacks to entertain tourists for hour-long rides. A few ferries run back and forth between Illinois and Missouri and of course the mighty casino business has flourished nicely as the State’s lick their chops for tax revenue, but they're “boats” in name only.
Yes, the river has quieted somewhat since the days when Riverboats were king. What might have been if St. Louis had chosen the railroads expansion West over the mighty Riverboats is anybody’s guess. The complexion of the country and most certainly Chicago as a major rail hub would have changed dramatically. One thing’s for sure, today would be much the same for the mighty Riverboat – its time has passed by literally and is coming to the last bend in the river.
My first visit to the Arch also featured a visit to the one and only McDonald’s restaurant on a riverboat. It was docked on the riverfront and a unique way to share a burger and a truly ‘Happy’ meal. I was lucky to eat there because by the Millennium it was gone. Also from the vantage point atop the Arch you could clearly see the Admiral riverboat casino though I never have been on it. Soon it too will be gone, as it surrenders it’s gaming license and place on the St. Louis riverfront by Summer 2010.
My favorite riverboat memory was boarding the Goldenrod dinner boat theater over in St. Charles. I really would look forward to those fun Sunday Matinee shows. Yes, the boat was a little seedy and the food was average, but the experience and history on board was unmatched. Many a famous performer had worked the stage on that little boat over the decades. Sadly it was sold off and removed from the St. Charles riverfront about 5 years back.
So today I see that the old Robert E. Lee replica riverboat restaurant caught fire and burned to the hull in Kimmswick, Missouri. I had the pleasure of eating at the place with my in-laws a few years ago. The food was average for a dinner house, but again sitting dockside on top of a big sternwheeler, looking out over the river, is an experience we will never forget. Its death basically leaves the river in the hands of a few remaining stalwart commercial businesses.
Barge jockeys still move salt and coal up and down the river. There are a few small tour boats with quaint names like the ’Mark Twain’ that roam the Mississippi too. These are little more than highly decorated flat boats with a wheel house and fake smokestacks to entertain tourists for hour-long rides. A few ferries run back and forth between Illinois and Missouri and of course the mighty casino business has flourished nicely as the State’s lick their chops for tax revenue, but they're “boats” in name only.
Yes, the river has quieted somewhat since the days when Riverboats were king. What might have been if St. Louis had chosen the railroads expansion West over the mighty Riverboats is anybody’s guess. The complexion of the country and most certainly Chicago as a major rail hub would have changed dramatically. One thing’s for sure, today would be much the same for the mighty Riverboat – its time has passed by literally and is coming to the last bend in the river.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
People want to be led
Leadership is a fickle friend. As much as I sincerely believe that this valuable skill is a learned one, I also feel that it can be tempting to quickly forget about developing one’s leadership ability. I mean why not let somebody else take the bullets and leave me in peace right? Sadly that seems to be more and more the operating philosophy of modern times . As more problems prove tougher to solve, fewer people are willing to embrace active leadership in favor of passively being led.
Like speechmaking, in leadership, practice makes perfect. Sounds simple enough but let’s face it both tasks can be scary. Throw yourself in front of a conference room or classroom full of eyeballs, or worse yet, eyeballs attached to brains judging your every move and thought – then WHEW! … makes me sweat just writing about it! Further, leaders are typically on the front line of new policy and uncomfortable change which can affect established political power paradigms and personal relationships. With all that at stake, it is easy to understand why most folks prefer to be led than be a leader themselves.
In most facets of life I contend this is a mistake. Whenever an opportunity presents itself, you can only become a better leader by doing. Often times in life, this means taking a chance and pushing the envelope of your job description even if you are a volunteer. New leaders need to take charge of someone else’s generally accepted responsibilities before being entrusted with their own. Most overseers do not welcome such intrusions and perceived power grabs by unproven underlings, so that is where the practice comes in.
Instead of attempting an outright confrontational coup, it is imperative to make your target of opportunity receive your gestures with open arms. Oh yeah right, my boss is going to simply hand over the reigns of power? No, not yet, but who knows if you play your cards right it can and may happen down the road? Generally in new organizations that I want to ultimately influence, I ask for or ‘assume’ responsibility to lead the most detestable aspects of my supervisor’s job first. In most cases, as you hone your skills, your efforts will be received with relief and genuine appreciation instead of conflict. Nobody ‘likes’ firing people (except for the Donald) but if you KNOW you can do a better job than your boss, then take on tough chores like that one.
Your goal is to quickly become the reliable ‘go to’ person for leadership roles, no matter how small or how temporary. Practicing your skills reinforces your value to the company now and helps you become an actual BETTER leader in the future. The aforementioned ‘fired employee’ is not a theoretical example nor as cold and calculating as you may first believe. My specific goal was to fire the inadequate employee with more grace and dignity than my boss would have ever done. At the same time, I needed to know the good, bad, and ugly of the task because not only did the job have to be done, but I would need that leadership skill throughout my life.
If you keep taking on the lowly tasks of leadership first and build your way up to greater and greater responsibilities, you will soon find you are indispensable as a resource for your organization. Regardless of your desires for power or influence upon your firm’s direction, JOB SECURITY is reason alone to be an effective leader rather than a run-of-the-mill follower. By nature, most people may still take the easy way and follow. However, if you listen, learn, and accept responsibility quickly, very soon it will be you, your ideas, and leadership style that will be hard to forget.
Like speechmaking, in leadership, practice makes perfect. Sounds simple enough but let’s face it both tasks can be scary. Throw yourself in front of a conference room or classroom full of eyeballs, or worse yet, eyeballs attached to brains judging your every move and thought – then WHEW! … makes me sweat just writing about it! Further, leaders are typically on the front line of new policy and uncomfortable change which can affect established political power paradigms and personal relationships. With all that at stake, it is easy to understand why most folks prefer to be led than be a leader themselves.
In most facets of life I contend this is a mistake. Whenever an opportunity presents itself, you can only become a better leader by doing. Often times in life, this means taking a chance and pushing the envelope of your job description even if you are a volunteer. New leaders need to take charge of someone else’s generally accepted responsibilities before being entrusted with their own. Most overseers do not welcome such intrusions and perceived power grabs by unproven underlings, so that is where the practice comes in.
Instead of attempting an outright confrontational coup, it is imperative to make your target of opportunity receive your gestures with open arms. Oh yeah right, my boss is going to simply hand over the reigns of power? No, not yet, but who knows if you play your cards right it can and may happen down the road? Generally in new organizations that I want to ultimately influence, I ask for or ‘assume’ responsibility to lead the most detestable aspects of my supervisor’s job first. In most cases, as you hone your skills, your efforts will be received with relief and genuine appreciation instead of conflict. Nobody ‘likes’ firing people (except for the Donald) but if you KNOW you can do a better job than your boss, then take on tough chores like that one.
Your goal is to quickly become the reliable ‘go to’ person for leadership roles, no matter how small or how temporary. Practicing your skills reinforces your value to the company now and helps you become an actual BETTER leader in the future. The aforementioned ‘fired employee’ is not a theoretical example nor as cold and calculating as you may first believe. My specific goal was to fire the inadequate employee with more grace and dignity than my boss would have ever done. At the same time, I needed to know the good, bad, and ugly of the task because not only did the job have to be done, but I would need that leadership skill throughout my life.
If you keep taking on the lowly tasks of leadership first and build your way up to greater and greater responsibilities, you will soon find you are indispensable as a resource for your organization. Regardless of your desires for power or influence upon your firm’s direction, JOB SECURITY is reason alone to be an effective leader rather than a run-of-the-mill follower. By nature, most people may still take the easy way and follow. However, if you listen, learn, and accept responsibility quickly, very soon it will be you, your ideas, and leadership style that will be hard to forget.
Happiness through others pain
Wow, can I be that heartless? You mean the path to personal happiness actually lies in the road of someone else’s misfortune? The answer is a resounding ‘ Yes’, and a diminutive ‘No’ – all at the same time. Follow closely so I can explain.
First, I assume you are seeking happiness as the PRIMARY motivator for your own benefit as opposed to causing problems against others for personal gain. The latter already has a name and it is "VOODOO". While I do not know what a VOO is, I do know what DOO is and personally, like me, you should probably take it with a grain of salt or avoid it altogether. Second, if you have clinical depression, bipolarism or some medically significant form of chronic stress, then seek real medical assistance as opposed to my new age ‘hippie’ blog-talk.
But, if you are in the last group of stressed, occasionally unhappy or the emotionally insane (but only temporary), then this remedy is just for you NORMAL people! Try to put into perspective your true place in society, if it helps. For some folks, performance anxiety can be almost crippling when all the attention is directed towards you. In those times, remember, you are but a speck of dust upon the REAL dust in the world. There is ALWAYS someone better than you true enough, BUT there are always dozens, if not thousands, who are far worse too so stop stressing.
This is where the idea of getting in touch with your own ‘good fortune’ (no matter how bad it feels) by comparing it to someone else, suffering far worse conditions comes in. At times I have to do something physically challenging or do it on a particularly hot day. When I start to lean towards complaint, I try to put myself in the boots of the overseas troops. Yes I may be dogging a lawnmower up the side of a hill and hating it but compared to the work of a soldier – it’s a breeze! I mean imagine the constant feeling of torment and lack of personal fortune, trudging a 100 pound backpack while an occasional bullet pops off from sources unknown. I HAVE to be luckier than that guy right?
There is the ironic thing and the mushy mixed up ‘yes and no’ reality of this whole concept that I spoke of in the beginning. Even though you and I feel very lucky to be at home mowing rather than soldiering in foreign lands, that SAME soldier may feel fortunate to be in his reality over say being stuck in a 7 by 7 ‘Dilbert-esque’ cubicle back in the States. Yes our soldier example suffers occasional discomfort, but in reality he KNOWS he is the lucky one and becomes MORE APPRECIATIVE of his circumstance, regardless the toil.
Yes I guess there is an element of some ‘hippie’ philosophy when you consider the true Power of Positive Thinking *. However the “a-Peale” to this comparative therapy, is that everyone can learn to appreciate not only what THEY have, but what OTHERS give up as well. All in all, that should be enough to jump-start you off your self-loathing rutted road of pain and back onto the fresh paved highway of happiness.
* from the classic inspirational best seller “The Power of Positive Thinking”, by Norman Vincent Peale, Ballintine Books, 1996 ISBN-10: 0449911470
First, I assume you are seeking happiness as the PRIMARY motivator for your own benefit as opposed to causing problems against others for personal gain. The latter already has a name and it is "VOODOO". While I do not know what a VOO is, I do know what DOO is and personally, like me, you should probably take it with a grain of salt or avoid it altogether. Second, if you have clinical depression, bipolarism or some medically significant form of chronic stress, then seek real medical assistance as opposed to my new age ‘hippie’ blog-talk.
But, if you are in the last group of stressed, occasionally unhappy or the emotionally insane (but only temporary), then this remedy is just for you NORMAL people! Try to put into perspective your true place in society, if it helps. For some folks, performance anxiety can be almost crippling when all the attention is directed towards you. In those times, remember, you are but a speck of dust upon the REAL dust in the world. There is ALWAYS someone better than you true enough, BUT there are always dozens, if not thousands, who are far worse too so stop stressing.
This is where the idea of getting in touch with your own ‘good fortune’ (no matter how bad it feels) by comparing it to someone else, suffering far worse conditions comes in. At times I have to do something physically challenging or do it on a particularly hot day. When I start to lean towards complaint, I try to put myself in the boots of the overseas troops. Yes I may be dogging a lawnmower up the side of a hill and hating it but compared to the work of a soldier – it’s a breeze! I mean imagine the constant feeling of torment and lack of personal fortune, trudging a 100 pound backpack while an occasional bullet pops off from sources unknown. I HAVE to be luckier than that guy right?
There is the ironic thing and the mushy mixed up ‘yes and no’ reality of this whole concept that I spoke of in the beginning. Even though you and I feel very lucky to be at home mowing rather than soldiering in foreign lands, that SAME soldier may feel fortunate to be in his reality over say being stuck in a 7 by 7 ‘Dilbert-esque’ cubicle back in the States. Yes our soldier example suffers occasional discomfort, but in reality he KNOWS he is the lucky one and becomes MORE APPRECIATIVE of his circumstance, regardless the toil.
Yes I guess there is an element of some ‘hippie’ philosophy when you consider the true Power of Positive Thinking *. However the “a-Peale” to this comparative therapy, is that everyone can learn to appreciate not only what THEY have, but what OTHERS give up as well. All in all, that should be enough to jump-start you off your self-loathing rutted road of pain and back onto the fresh paved highway of happiness.
* from the classic inspirational best seller “The Power of Positive Thinking”, by Norman Vincent Peale, Ballintine Books, 1996 ISBN-10: 0449911470
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