Fake FLOWER power

When I was a kid, I distinctly remember my Mother showing off her fake potted flowers on 8mm movie film. Yes, every time we watched that movie, my Father would laugh and point out the absurdity of proudly displaying fake flowers in the first place and in REAL flower pots to boot! I think he actually liked them and I did too. I was always amazed at how much labor free color those little plants could provide even when it was colder outside. Still in California, real flowers throughout the year are ‘possible’ so our house always seemed particularly blessed with good fortune to the jealous neighbors.

So it was no surprise as I got older that within my own family unit, we have come to mimic this flower slight of hand. The only problem is that we live in a cold weather state as opposed to balmy West. This creates an immediate credibility problem when people pull up to the house in December to a field of colorful tulips happily in full bloom among the frozen tundra.

I have tried to be more careful since my early oversights. Now I typically try and interlace a few blooming facsimile plants in amongst the dying buds and wilting vines. By winter, I am careful to remove all of the good looking silk plants and simply stick a couple of the crushed green wires with a petal or two left for color. I bend the heads over like they are drooping and cold. When your plants look horrible in winter, they are very believable in Missouri.

Now on the inside of the house, I have a variety of Ficus trees which are all fake. I have several large pots with beautiful green Boston ferns but I never water them because they are silk. By the window sills, there is always a vase or two sporting a fresh rose or Snapdragon. Absurd or not, the little splashes of green leaves and colorful blooms really make the place look engaging. Yes, apparently my Mother taught me well, as I am a master of deception in the fake garden department. Too bad, I never listened when it came to cleaning up my room … because all of my plants are in dire need of a good dusting and polish!