Tangled Wire Tango

I have come to accept that we all live in a wired world. Even with a cell phone in every pocket and a WIFI McDonalds on every corner, life still runs mostly on wires, cables, and a lot of pulled strings. Now the wild ways of wires, like dancing, confounds me a bit. Because no matter where I am or what wired thing I am using, it will always get TANGLED.

Ok, mock me if you want, but think about it a minute. Have you ever pulled out a pair of headphones to your phone or computer and then set them down even for a microsecond? They will instantly come up in a tangled mess. This is especially true of those ultra-light tiny ear buds. If you accidently move or swing them carelessly, they will TWIST and WRAP faster than ‘Chubby Checker’ and ‘Lil Kim’ in a tetherball tourney.

In my entire life I have never mastered how to dance with the desk-phone handset’s coiled wire, yet keep it from twisting back on itself like an irritating ball of amorous snakes. I cannot remember how often I have gone to answer the phone and that now short coiled ‘rats-nest’ pulls the WHOLE stupid phone to the floor. Vacuum cords try to help with that convenient clip that lets you take off the whole handful of looped power cord at once. But again as soon as you start to tug on that pack, it will bind and pull the whole vac over before the plug reaches the wall outlet.

Outside there are a host of things that may not be wires technically but they are functionally just as prone to the tangling two-step. No matter how I try to cast or reel in fishing line, it will find a way to bunch up on the reel in knots. To make matters worse the line’s slimy and will drag up some fungi or other random flotsam to ensure dirty dancing and complicate recovery. Hose reels, Pressure washers, extension cords, cable, string, and even CHAIN – you name it … all of them are out to get me and will coyly test my coiling cognition. So until wireless TRULY takes over the world, WIRED life will still rule the roost. However, speaking as one who frequently trots in lock step to the ‘tangled tango’, I can assure you my dance card is full!