Free Pretzel Assault

Yes today, good fortune cast its fickle shadow over my way for a change. No I am not a sad sack constantly waiting for the next shoe to drop, but like most folks I appreciate free stuff when I can get it. Today while attending a lacrosse game, the snack bar boss offered me two free GIANT pretzels on my way out to the car. I was suspicious at first but I am a regular Diet Coke patron, so I dismissed any clandestine thoughts of a ‘quid pro quo’ pretzel contract.

The pretzels were still warm and smelled great. With the kid off to college and the wife out of town, I was momentarily sad that I had no one to share my special lottery moment. However that feeling passed after I froze one for a later binge, and finally bit into the other ‘pretz’ with gusto. Honestly, it could have tasted like dirt and it still would have been great because it was free!

Now I did have one tiny complaint about the giant pretzels. Who decided that it was a good idea to cover these things in a layer of rock salt? Just because they are big pretzels does not mean that good old fashioned ordinary-sized salt is too small. Have the people that make these things ever tasted salt – just as advertised, even a few grains tastes SALTY! I mean these pretzel chunks of salt could melt a bag of frozen peas all the way back to their vine pods.

Well who am I to be choosy. This is one beggar who can handle a little high blood pressure in the name of free food. I’m 'knot' afraid of Sodium or Chloride even when paired up into giant blocks of deer lick on my twisted baked goods. Who knows, those pretzels may come in handy someday – especially if I need to clear up an icy driveway!