The Junk Drawer

Everyone has the ubiquitous junk drawer. You know, that first drawer in the kitchen near the phone, stuffed beyond capacity – yeah that’s it. I actually have two junk drawers, but the bedroom one is where I keep all of my underwear (a little ‘street’ humor … must have been that ‘Ripple’ smoothie I had for breakfast). Yes junk drawers are a staple at every place I have ever lived. In fact as I dig through mine now, I DO have some staples in here, along with some buttons, paper clips and everyone’s favorite – the MULTI-TOOL.

The multi-tool is code for a tool in its prerequisite ‘leatherette’ pouch, that can universally do the jobs of a slew of other tools. BUT the crux is, the multi-tool is bulky, hard to manipulate and not a great first choice to do any task well. You still have to have one of these in a junk drawer though, because as I like to say to my wife “There is no job worth doing, that I can try to do poorly”.

Digging around in the drawer, I found a ping pong ball that looks like a tiny soccer ball. Hmmm – interesting indeed, but I do not know how to play soccer? Ooooh, now here is something invaluable, an electronic whistle. Instead of blowing a time-tested maintenance-free $2 pea whistle, I have a pricey electronic version which requires batteries. I’m clearly so smart with my money, I should try to get elected to Congress so I can spend yours instead! Oh look here, if I’m going into politics, then you know at times I’ll have a lightning-quick need to gamble – I found a single blue poker chip and a pair of dice in my junk drawer. Gee, I can’t explain it, all this stuff just makes me think of Craps?

Ok, now don’t get me wrong, some of the contents in the junk drawer are useful. I actually put my keys and checkbook in there next to the springs, rubber bands and red pens. Come to think of it though, that’s probably not good ‘mojo’ to put checks in close contact with red ink and things that bounce? I did find some promotion coupons from cereal boxes which I did not know I had. This made me very happy because I am only one coupon, and $3.95 shipping away now from getting a FREE … oh no I can’t believe it – a stinking MULTI-TOOL? I give up – when’s lunch? It’s 8:30AM now so – CLOSE ENOUGH … I need another smoothie STAT!