Crooked Cookie

Though I am better at making little girls cry, with the Girl Scout cookie season upon us, I of course try to do my caloric duty and buy a few boxes to help the little ‘lasses keep their sashes’. Now except for the shortbread cookies, there are about 20 cookies to a box, so that works out to a cool 17 cents plus a cookie. Geez at that rate, I am not sure how I can maintain my road-hugging girth without a loan from a Chinese investment banker or at least a ‘fur-ball’ from a fat-cat?

To supplement my cookie habit, I have to resort to roaming the dollar stores in search of those off-brand bagged and bulk varietals. No they are not nearly as quality as the Girl Scout offerings but when any cookie is dunked in milk or coffee it magically ‘mushifies’ and takes on the delightful flavoring of the surrounding liquid. Tempting as it is, I have never dunked any of the Scouts – they are just too fragile and their parents would probably complain.

My one problem with cheapo cookies may appear superficial but it still bothers me. For some reason when making a sandwich cookie, often one side of the cookie will be crookedly mounted on the cream center. Is it too much to ask to have a perfectly apolitical cookie that is not too left or too right of center? It also frustrates me when the decorative embossed cookie’s topside is turned upside down on the cream.

How hard can it be to get a nice n’ orderly cookie that lines up on an axis right side up - after all, a bunch of green girly scouts seem to do it flawlessly every time? Oh I know, that’s why we all give up 350 pretty pennies to the Scout-ettes to treat our taste buds to a box of their top-drawer fat pills. Just like the U.S. government, I guess the Chinese will have to keep financing my good fortune and bad habits. I’ll have to learn to tolerate the occasional crooked cookie after dinner – it’ll be OK as long as it has a piece of paper with good news inside it!