Given that the world has glommed on to the green scene now, surprisingly
even I am trying to pass-on a legacy of recycling and re-purposing resources
before I become the main course at the worm buffet. Like my mentor Kermit,
whenever I can I enjoy being green, or at least sharing a shade a smidge south
of a drunk monk’s shot of Chartreuse. If saving our precious planet means double-dripping
through my underwear coffee filters before a good power washing at a public
fountain then count me in because I’m always game-Y!
Even a blow-hole like me wants to protect the environment,
so after a trash-bath I never let folks at the bus-stop preen downstream even
if I’m seen shaking off with gleeful GUSTo. Those windy restroom dryers have a
bad habit of flapping my fat and shooting my scent towards innocent bystanders.
Anyway the bums who beat the drums in my ears can’t take the high pressure in confined
spaces, especially if by an un-thinking tool
that expels hot air faster than I do after a Taco Bell burrito.
Since I am a bit of a pack-rat by nature anyway, recycling
my leavings is more of a luxury for me than a chore though my wife perspective might
not agree. Where most folks simply throw away their clothes with holes, I knows those ‘olds’ have a lot of life
still left in them as dirt shirts, paint pants, rags, or in a pinch - drapes
for the guest room. Though I’m always proud that I have a better plan than the
‘can’ for my ‘DUDS-ly long-gones’, I do admit, in the light of day
(particularly strong sunlight) I’m not a fan of my inadvertent spotted n’
tanned ‘gams’.
From toilets to toasters, until my digits have stripped
every switch, nut, or gasket no tired ol’ technology will find itself crossed
off and tossed toward a meaningless end in a cold cloistered casket. No that hot,
fiery, and very final R.I.P. parking space up front is reserved just for an old
vulture like me since I’m too toxic for trash and too dried up for glue. But
alas my lasting legacy can slouch tall since good fortune befalls all the recycled
riches and ‘green’ goods I have diligently scavenged and ‘saved’. You see, regardless of my own final dark fate, the scraps and
stuff I leave behind will forever serve as a shining light of hope, values, and
a renewed productive life as a ‘plastic
bin full of junk’.
Posts
