When most people refer to their bucket lists, they
are typically pondering far-off in the future lofty luxury vacations or nervy nail-biting nature
interactions with possible death as an outcome. Since sadly I tend to encounter
those bipolar experiences on a regular, but involuntary basis anyway, my ‘b-list’ is a tad
less inspirational. In fact, there’s even an ACTUAL rectangular window-washing bucket
on my list to help relieve my squeegee’s embarrassment from getting stuck up in
an ordinary round bucket.
I know the hushed-toned rumors at family events may
be true that I am simple minded, but then again I prefer to think of myself as
just being lower maintenance and easier to please than most folks. Most loyal
dogs will smell anything, play with the same slobbery ball all day, and fetch
any old stick as long as it’s wrapped in bacon, so I consider myself in good
company. Mutts like me may dream of greener grass from time to time, but true nirvana
is nearer when we realize ANY yard can look pretty good with a regular trim and
liberal application of OUR OWN fertilizer!
Don’t get me wrong, despite my pedantic preaching I
still hold white collared reverence for timely clan-travel and elective
extemporaneous exploration. After all, what else are you going to spend all
that inheritance on – tacos, taxes, or your basement-bound spawn’s silk sheets
and cell phone? So why not look beyond those lengthy lists of improbable future
chum-buckety fun and instead focus NOW on your skivvie’s silver lining while
they are still warm.