Oh sure I understand the importance of keeping one’s rump
roasty and toasty by doubling up on the undies when it’s cold outside but what
about the rest of me? I guess my thighs and gut can get chilled to the bone at
times, but believe me there is a lot of flab to stab through before a dropping
thermometer can get anywhere near my big hollow bones. I’m more worried about my
baby bird-sized body parts that are small and can fall off unexpectedly while climbing
Mount Everest like the toes, ears, and nose.
Even beyond that weird waffled outer underwear, I can also
buy fleeced SWEATS too for extra added warmth over the typical total of my
torso. So why doesn’t somebody make
sweats to help protect my phalanges and proboscis or is the thought of my sweaty
feet and nose in a RUNNING suit an image best suited for my psych-ward roomies?
I don’t understand why I have to double up the pleasure on socks when I already
do that with gum – isn’t it just easier to MAKE a double-thick sock to begin
with and then double up on shoes if I’m still cold?
I think the problem is, that all of these stupid
cold-weather clothes are made in third-world jungle countries where they only
have two seasons – HOT and HUMID. Of course none of the panty-wastes in these
steamy factories ever thinks about loosely layering loin cloths when the one
they have already promotes too much
mushroom multiplication. These cotton jockeys probably falsely believe that most
folks also needs ear muffs with ice packs or efficacious fans attached to glasses
so noses can BLOW themselves anytime they want.
Apparently the real answer is that the world needs a topsy
turvy BOTTOM up revolution in tighty whitey production. Let’s shake up those ‘leo-retarded’
corporate underwear giants and expose their low hanging fruit to the looms n’ tunes of the disenfranchised cold, short
and shriveled. Why should nostrils flair in icy air or our wiggly digits, both
North and South, continually suffer without a buffer. Yes it’s time to find an
indie undie manufacturer that is truly willing to expose cold ‘cretonnes’ like
myself, and ALL of our too blue body bits beyond the big ones, to a new true,
BOXER rebellion.
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