Given my graying growing girth I have to watch what I eat,
or more accurately WATCH what other people eat. Don’t worry I have plenty of
flaccid fatty flesh reserves and cisterns of black coffee to tide me over until
the Dairy Queen and Burger King get together to make a fat-free baby burger I
can nurture without guilt. In the meantime though, I think it would be nice if
I could find a guaranteed, calorie shredding, diet idea that will help me slim
down just by sitting in my easy-geezer chair!
You see that lumpy yawn of a divan is where I do my best
calorie cutting (into bite sized chunks). Yes in the presence of those crushed
plush n’ crumby tufted buttons is where I write and stress EAT most often,
especially after the TV news drones ceaselessly on about curb lurking dangers
and societal discomforts. Who can blame both my mouth and my stomach for
growling when these days every time I turn on the tele some floosy newsie
starts spewing doozies about E-bowl-of this and E-bowl-of that.
So naturally my musty dusty brain filled with a murky milky
mush calls to the claws to grab my anchor of a laptop, and the computer that
sits atop it, to seek out this ‘E-bowl of’ cereal site that everyone is abuzz
about. I am intrigued since what
personage of a portly persuasion doesn’t want to stare at lusty, glossy and
saucy pictures of wet n’ grainy, fiber-rich cereals all from the comfort of
their own couch? I would think even skinny, ice shelved penguins on egg-watch
too might get a little hot and bothered and see their feather temps rise under
such extreme conditions.
Maybe I have misspelled it for I find no mention of a bland pablum
diet and an e-fitness program that is web-based
without the mess of real spiders and their unfortunate encounters with heavy
free weights. Too bad since who knows If I had really shed a sled-full of my sugarloaf
I might have been able to reach out and preach the benefits of ‘E-bowl-of’ to
the world beyond my Lazy-Boy. Yep, If I were lucky, I might have even gone to
the SOURCE where this trend all started – then as the official spokesperson, I
could fly back home and REALLY spread
the word in person to those TV news-pukes
who always make me hungry!
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