The problem is that one minute into the New Year and I immediately begin to lose my resolve to actually follow through with those lofty-topped resolutions. I mean it’s tough trying to keep my vows and stop eating my own weight in chicken wings – especially since the farm ‘chicks’ I hang out with are never ‘down’ with that. Oh sure it would be nice to replace our clog-prone commodes with those bowls that will swallow buckets of golf balls; but whose got that much time to pilfer from the driving range?
We don’t need some arbitrary end-of-year date to tell us what to do and how to better change our ways. Anyway, isn’t December already kind of packed full of holiday hoe-downs and expensive excesses without the added burden of tired self-reflection and relentless regret rituals? Maybe my first resolution this year will be to dissolve the resolve of New Years Day and start a ‘Resolv-olution’ of sorts!
Just think how great it would be to face the upcoming year guilt-free while wearing any ol’ quirky lampshade you care to slip on? Even that fat, pink n’ ‘nekkid’ sash-ensconced New Years baby could eat anything and would appreciate the freedom from making hefty life decisions so early in the year. Without lofty goals or high-brow standards to get in the way, I could do darn near anything today and worry about those nagging consequences and restrictive resolutions tomorrow. Or better yet how about next month, or maybe next YEAR during some memorable & special event in time? Hmmm … why not when they drop that shiny New Years ball at Midnight – now that’s a revolutionary resolution solution!
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