Despite my reputation as a bloated bellower, I tend to
equate my natural animal state with that of a more mellower fellower. Oh sure I ‘caw’ loudly back
at the ‘bird police’ when they beak the peak of my head while poking around
nests, but how else am I and my raccoon raider DNA supposed to eat or entertain
guests? Even fat raptors like owls and
me give a ‘hoot’ once in awhile after a big meal, but overall our noise impact is
pellet-sized puny and slim like an eel.
In today’s times though, my Dino breed must be dying off since
good, bad, happy, and sad sounds all assault the bones closest to my cochlear like
a clamorous triceratops spear to the ear. What fat squirrels like me can’t see
is a peaceful stroll in the park anymore without somebody’s radio pumping and
thumping with a cacophonous roar. Clearly the world is gone deaf and have
turned up the juice to my dismay; my Dumbo flaps have had more than their limit
so I plug and cover them with hair every day.
Even the fan in the bath blows more blitzkrieg ‘buzz’ than it
quietly sucks and why is the wind so pushy and sounds like Mack trucks. My only
considerate neighbors are the squirrels, worms, and deer who are particularly
quiet when seen flat from my car’s rear mirror. Too many sounds from cars,
planes, or beasts; too much noise which needs to cease if I’m to be pleased and you wish to quiet the beast.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not demanding peace and quiet
from the animals in my kingdom who are forced to swallow peas and ‘try it’. There
is always an exception to any rule and a good reason for a bad dog to bark in
protest and dabble in discord. So on those days that I whine and complain, show
up ready to throw me a meaty bone, by keeping your music to yourself and your
words in hushed tone.
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