While robots and I spend lots of quality time
together and I DO whisper sweet nothings into an Android on a regular basis, I’m
not a fan of these new cars that parallel park by themselves. Honestly, I don’t
know about you, but first off who HAS to park this way anymore on a regular
basis? It would be one thing if I had to parallel park daily or even once a
week around small children wearing big orange cone-headed caps; but for occasional
activities like personal hygiene which I do annually or orally, why pay for fancy
options?
I also don’t remember where on my insurance policy
that I listed the car as its OWN driver? Why should I take on all the risk and
responsibility to park these cars if THEY are the ones incurring the liability
now? If my car wants to do something nice for me automatically why doesn’t it
try changing its oil, ‘honking’ my ‘horny’, or better still, picking the bugs out of its own
grill for a change.
I might be more open to a vehicle that parks itself
if the simple technology already in my car worked well 100% of the time. Except
for when my window squirters fall-off and shoot innocent bystanders, a simple
skip of a CD or an occasional wrong turn directive barked by a GPS, usually
doesn’t hurt anyone. But I’m guessing if my sensors turn senseless and my car’s
‘puter-parker brain burps over the by-and-by, my attempts at a ‘parallel plunge’ near the South rim of the Grand Canyon
COULD become more akin to ‘bye bye’!
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