Pretty much when you arrive at Mack truck size, most foods
are frowned upon unless they taste like tree twigs and look like green leaves.
Overall I agree with the idea to eat a bit healthier but that doesn’t mean I’ll
be first in line to suck on broccoli stalk crackers or cauliflower curds that
get in my way. If you want me to eat
more of something then you need to provide some proper inducement that befits
my personality like Cracker Jacks do with those primo prizes they hide inside
every box.
Obviously geezers like me can be tasteless at times, so that’s
why even if the flavor of snacks lacks, then at the very least I encourage everyone
to stock up on pantry foodies which can
do double duties. Who needs kitty litter
clay when a boxed brick of Grape Nuts will take care of “Fluffy’s” nuggets n’ stain
needs in a pinch. Better yet after a
quick sift and a truckload of sugar, that pan will be as good n’ gritty as ever
and ready to serve up 12 essential vitamins and 100% (or maybe more) of your
daily grain intake.
While everybody loves an orange cheesy cracker, why choose a
stuffy square Cheez-it over a new wave cracker that tastes just as good but also
tops off your aquarium with Goldfish food too? If those fishy-faced-down
floating bite-sized crackers aren’t filling enough for your dining pleasure
then simply shove a toothpick up their rudders and VOILA – Fishsticks for Friday! Oh sure they quickly turn into bait once they bounce
on the bubbles, but at least now you’ll have a seeable reason as to why your
other fish regularly swim upside down in that cloudy pea green tank o’ soup.
My Parmesan flakey brain clearly is NOT a head and shoulders above sanity and I’ve
simply taken food style a bit too far. In the future I should probably just
stick to chewing the chaff rather than demanding healthy double-dips from my crazy
deli designs too? If that’s true then the
Pringle’s people should get a ‘CLUE’ since ‘hyperbolic
paraboloids’ are best left to the mathematicians and their distant duck-lipped
n’ swayback, horse-faced ancestors. But please don’t bellow to the ‘Bugles-
crew ‘to change the personality of their cornucopia snacks a bit; since I just scored
a handful for a matching set of corny claws and a-MAIZE-ing fangs which for ME, tastefully FIT!
Posts
