My mind might be a little SCROOGED up but I am curious why
we send greeting cards ‘en masse’ only on Christmas. It’s not as if there is anything else going on
in December that requires lots of attention, so why not add phonebooks of
correspondence into the milieu too? After all, like a fat man’s pants, most
folks love stress and somewhere in the bible it says ‘thou shalt prop up the
post ‘O’ doesn’t it?
I mean why should I feel compelled to save up and wait to
reveal the fact that I stubbed my tootsies in February when December is so far
away. I am sure all of my friends, family, and fungi should be on a need to
know TOE basis and are anxiously waiting updates on such vivid and meaningful
details about my Cajun blackened feet. Why not send a batch of personalized
Post-its about my piggies on Columbus day, Daylight savings day, or most apropos
- GroundHOG day too so I can keep Hallmark happy all year long.
Let’s face it, the one or two people and free range farm
animals on my ‘nice’ list are probably already aware that I ‘think of them’
often, and the ‘naughty’ rest will either hear from me after parole or from my obituary.
I’m not anti-Christmas as much as I am ‘anti-glue’ on the backs of those pasty
faced greeting card envelopes. Have you ever tried to swallow a ‘sammie’ after
licking 100 nasty fragrant flaps with a minty tinge – ‘white BRED’ lips n’ toothpaste though comical, are not my best
feature nor a savory snack.
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