My mind might be a little SCROOGED up but I am curious why we send greeting cards ‘en masse’ only on Christmas. It’s not as if there is anything else going on in December that requires lots of attention, so why not add phonebooks of correspondence into the milieu too? After all, like a fat man’s pants, most folks love stress and somewhere in the bible it says ‘thou shalt prop up the post ‘O’ doesn’t it?
I mean why should I feel compelled to save up and wait to reveal the fact that I stubbed my tootsies in February when December is so far away. I am sure all of my friends, family, and fungi should be on a need to know TOE basis and are anxiously waiting updates on such vivid and meaningful details about my Cajun blackened feet. Why not send a batch of personalized Post-its about my piggies on Columbus day, Daylight savings day, or most apropos - GroundHOG day too so I can keep Hallmark happy all year long.
Let’s face it, the one or two people and free range farm animals on my ‘nice’ list are probably already aware that I ‘think of them’ often, and the ‘naughty’ rest will either hear from me after parole or from my obituary. I’m not anti-Christmas as much as I am ‘anti-glue’ on the backs of those pasty faced greeting card envelopes. Have you ever tried to swallow a ‘sammie’ after licking 100 nasty fragrant flaps with a minty tinge – ‘white BRED’ lips n’ toothpaste though comical, are not my best feature nor a savory snack.