Despite my craggy crusty white bread exterior, on occasion I
have been known to be ‘sweet’ and melted butter soft. Since I’m happily married
I do my best to hide my warm and yeasty dough-boy self and usually don’t share
my best nectar with those who I don’t
know from friend or foe. That fact apparently did not resonate with a random bulky
bee who just so happened to seek a patch of hand-shaped shade as I inadvertently
brought my paw to bear briefly upon his fuzzy bumble-bum.
Like most folks I’m no perfect Pope, so translating Latin,
pig or otherwise from flapping flags and pretentious diplomas is not my strongest
of suits. However while my eyes were turned to the skies engaged mightily in
that very task, the bossy bee interrupted me by rubbing his furry figure
violently under my pinkie before pricking me with his pointy
stick. Oh don’t worry about my barbless
benefactor and his electric kiss since he flew away fine with barely a ‘thank
you’; just a bit jumpy n’ grumpy from my unfortunate fondle of his itty-bitty bee-hind rumpy.
Gee who asked ‘Buzz LightREAR’ out on a date anyway – surely
not me since I don’t need more complications in my life? Even my wife only gets
near my dust covered dump of a truck when it’s absolutely necessary so why
would I be expected to engage in a ‘homo-insectual’ relationship with some
tush-pushy buttinsky bee? All I know is that for a brief moment my brain was
receiving mixed messages as my finger tingled and that hairy manicurist was
getting a little too enthusiastic showing off his needlepoint and ample emery
board.
Other than the lingering itch in my littlest of digits and since
I’m a Pollen-anna by nature, I have
to say my shameless Queeny bee encounter was more of a pleasant surprise than a
painful one. Yes I’m positive and not dense (I know because my glass is always
at least half full of fat) so there is something to be learned here about my
own inner nature. Yes I clearly have to do a better job of suppressing the
beast piece of my personality – since obviously I possess an abundance of
Anmalia magnetism and I don’t want to BEE too desirable to the opposite species.
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