Given the recent wing flap over public television’s corpulent mellow yellow canary, I think it’s important that I also SEED the debate with the fact that I love big bulbous birds! Oh sure tiny Hummingbirds can be fun too when gently juiced-up and riding the RedBull rush, though ask any hornet - generally the bigger the winged-thing, the bigger the buzz. Yes, I’ll always be a fan of the prodigious Peregrine or Pelican, but will never go for a little Lark, Thrush or Finch, except of course, in a pinch.
You can leave your wimpy wild feed and sunflower seeds for the Chickadees and benched ball players please. You see I am a blimp-sized color-blind birder without a hidden agenda or a politically correct hungry hollow bone in my body. I along with my favorite bulky feathered brethren are meat-eater ‘beakers’ happily hatched to strut our stuff far better than those skinny itty-bitty girlie-birdies sitting pretty in my palm.
Real tough and rough around the rump Pterodactyl Bills like me obviously don’t eat quiche quietly. Yes me and my RAVENous routines may ruffle a few rectrices now and then when I stalk my birdie brood. So tell me why it’s wrong when I pull my porky plumage to the side of the road and gawk at Hawks as they menace mousey mice or ogle at Eagles retrieving meaty beagles for brunch.
Since it’s obvious that I’m part Turkey and, more often than not, a little Chicken too, my basted and baked-in opinion of brawny birds of a feather should not be misconstrued. I am actually an equal opportunity bird-brain of PREY (though not religious) that believes size does matter and bigger is indeed better. Principles aside I do make one exception to this rule though. While those classy monster Geese, Flamingos, and Swan are dandy art when plastically perched upon my lawn, when it comes to their REAL beak-breather bros – if they fly over to DECORATE my car, my preference tends to the tiny!