Thursday, October 18, 2012


Given the recent wing flap over public television’s corpulent mellow yellow canary, I think it’s important that I also SEED the debate with the fact that I love big bulbous birds! Oh sure tiny Hummingbirds can be fun too when gently juiced-up and riding the RedBull rush, though ask any hornet - generally the bigger the winged-thing, the bigger the buzz. Yes, I’ll always be a fan of the prodigious Peregrine or Pelican, but will never go for a little Lark, Thrush or Finch, except of course, in a pinch.

You can leave your wimpy wild feed and sunflower seeds for the Chickadees and benched ball players please. You see I am a blimp-sized color-blind birder without a hidden agenda or a politically correct hungry hollow bone in my body. I along with my favorite bulky feathered brethren are meat-eater ‘beakers’ happily hatched to strut our stuff far better than those skinny itty-bitty girlie-birdies sitting pretty in my palm.
Real tough and rough around the rump Pterodactyl Bills like me obviously don’t eat quiche quietly. Yes me and my RAVENous routines may ruffle a few rectrices now and then when I stalk my birdie brood. So tell me why it’s wrong when I pull my porky plumage to the side of the road and gawk at Hawks as they menace mousey mice or ogle at Eagles retrieving meaty beagles for brunch.

Since it’s obvious that I’m part Turkey and, more often than not, a little Chicken too, my basted and baked-in opinion of brawny birds of a feather should not be misconstrued. I am actually an equal opportunity bird-brain of PREY (though not religious) that believes size does matter and bigger is indeed better. Principles aside I do make one exception to this rule though. While those classy monster Geese, Flamingos, and Swan are dandy art when plastically perched upon my lawn, when it comes to their REAL beak-breather bros – if they fly over to DECORATE my car, my preference tends to the tiny!


  1. yes the problem with defecating birds is their decorations can come at you from any and all directions.

  2. I wonder if Big Bird has to hide during Thanksgiving season?

  3. I heard noise on my roof which didn't sound
    like a fiddler. Just clunky. I looked up
    and was shocked to see a huge eagle! An
    eager eagle apparenly stalking a plastic
    owl I use to scare off woodpeckers. Have I
    created a food chain up there? One more
    more visit from him and my interruptions caused
    him to go seek something that wasn't plastic.
    But glad to see a Bald Eagle so 'neary and scary.'


  4. It is fun when I actually know what you are talking about!
    Canadians are following the US election, sometimes just for the laughter.
    Sigh. A binder of women....
    I think you oculd exploit that one, too!
    Cheers from Cottage Country!