Being a free range chicken at heart especially whenever I
see scary movies has made me an EGG-spert of sorts on all things egg. Except
for my enduring essence of sulfur I think I have inherited most of my ‘egg-centric’
traits from my parents who meet, greet, and eat the ovoids nearly every day. Yes,
you can boil ‘em, fry ‘em, or tie dye ‘em because unless they’re still warm
from a fresh squeezing, you can bet I will try ‘em.
Like my city-bred attention span, I like eggs best when
scrambled except I prefer the farm-raised versions extra large and on buttered
toast points any time of day. Surprisingly though my wife is not a ‘egg-ok’
with chicken droppings sold by the carton and parked in ROES in the fridge. The
egg-hater knows we need ‘em for baking cakes and practical yolks on neighbors with high cholesterol but otherwise never makes ‘vittle’
dinner plans with chicken littles in
pans.
Yes, in my wife’s hard-boiled world, colorless n’ boring un-hatched
eggs should be for breakfast exclusively and their bald tops need never see our
fingerprinty glass table top after daybreak. Even then, the white-headed plain
jane under-studies might only get their
big break after all the cold limp cereal, pasty oatmeal, and stale bread
ends have been exhausted as superior forms of sunrise sustenance. On rare occasions
I can spur the spouse to sup up some embryos sunny side up, only if they go
under cover as an abstract Picasso palette, with a gaudy free-flowing mix of
yellow, gory splotches of red catsup, and a liberal dusting of black cracked
pepper.
Ironically on a recent grocery run to restock a dozen of the
hard-shelled and edible white cargo, the Crayola
egg-eater paused a wee longer than normal to check for ‘cracks’ on the
backs of our styro-packed inhabitants. As she deposited the EXACT same
questionable carton-coop gingerly into our basket, it was clear that she had witnessed
something that had caused pause for
considerable thought. When queried as to her concern my wife replied, ‘ Oh it’s
nothing, just ONE egg is a bit ‘browner’
than the rest so I thought it might be BAD!”
Posts
