Thursday, February 3, 2011

‘Wannabe’ Phil

Amazingly I survived the mighty Midwest weather blast this week relatively none worse for the wear. Fortunately the predicted onslaught of snow, ice, and A-Gore’s feverish fears of unbridled global warming, melted off like cold sleet on a hot shingle. To make things even more fun, man’s most over-rated beaver, 'Punxsutawney Phil' once again graced us all with his toothy little Gobblers Knob.

Honestly I take about as much stock in Groundhog day as I do with our local weather chimps on T.V. I just cannot get behind any creature which has THAT much hair and usually predicts the WRONG outcome rightly and the right stuff rarely. I am not sure if that groundhog is even all that interested in working up a charitable sweat for meteorology anyway. I do sympathize with ‘bucktoothed Philly’ on this front though, since I personally know how taxing working one whole day per year can be.

Who is the genius that decided on an up-sized woodchuck shadow should be the authority on predicting future weather? That makes about as much sense as the meal worms in my flour knowing what kind of bread is best to bake for a wake - which is the Hindi flatbread fav ‘ROTi’ by the way.

I’m telling you, if you are looking for dark shadows, regardless of illumination, wouldn’t it make sense to start with a 'Dumbo-sized' animal or at least a bloodsucking vampire bat-brain? So shed your top hat and high-brow overcoat because the groundhog’s day in the limelight has passed. Yeah move over Phil, because I for one am confident that Al Gore’s road-hugging inflated girth, can obviously out-shadow and predict the weather much better than all other pompous overstuffed wannabe squirrels. Just look at that hair - its gotta be windy!