VELCRO VELCOMES YOU TO ITS VORLD

Either Velcro is getting stronger or I am getting weaker! Lucky nobody saw my Tug O' War with my fabric case when I took my laptop computer to breakfast with me this morning. No, "IT" doesn't get brekkie, or eat -- except for some of my data. It chomps only bits and bytes while I eat the whole thing of whatever is on my plate. When people talk about 'having a full plate' I always wonder if they're talking about ME! Those of us who are truly guilty don't have to be paranoid to think people are talking behind their backs. Maybe that's why laptops and notebook computers are getting so thin while we are not.

But the Velcro closures on my new computer case are real Grabbers! They don't want anyone in, even to fighting their owner when he tries to win the Rip-Fest. It's as embarrassing as when you absent-mindedly try to tear up a stack of papers then realize you took more sheets than your out-of-tone muscles can handle. That happens when everyone else has nothing to do except stand around the copy machine staring and smirking. But the world has to stay in balance. It must apportion out its powers evenly enough so that we don't all end up sticking in big chunks to Velcro. Like a Black Hole might pull you in. Proof of this is how my old comfy tennis shoes can no longer keep their Velcro flaps flapped. I think their adhesive powers must have been reassigned to my laptop case. If you actually use your tennis shoes to play tennis, this could let your opponent win while you keep bending to refix your floppy-top shoes

But you might use a different term than 'tennis shoes' for the fabric/rubber/composite shoes that have captured yards of feet nowadays. Running shoes, walking shoes, whatever. Seinfeld's pals called them "Sneakers." I heard that term as a kid, but mostly from older people. Like themselves, it faded. Now I consider "Sneakers" as mainly a "New Yorkism", and they're welcome to it. Think about this: Would a great-looking, free-breathing, athletic Heartland-America girl be more attracted to a Tennis Pro in tennis shoes or a Sneaky guy in Sneakers? I rest my case.

And I'll rest the rest of me after typing on this machine which I finally freed from its voracious Velcro case. But I apologize if I seemed to stereotype all New Yorkers as some kind of Sneakers, like their shoes. Not true! I'm sure that at least half of them are just the VICTIMS of Sneakers.