Thursday, August 18, 2011

Milking the Color Rut

What would the world be like if our established ways of doing things were ‘snowglobed’ & shaken up a bit? Oh sure we all talk a good game of how great and colorful ‘CHANGE’ is, but most of us actually prefer wads of those dull green pictures of dead presidents in our pockets. Like the lopsided lobes of my beanie-bound brain, I generally prefer when things are actually a little off-balanced. However I am the first to admit that if ‘ruts’ were Velcro loops, my burr-head would be permanently hooked and extra ‘linty’!

So would our kids still drink milk if it were sucked out of serpents instead of cows? I say ‘Moooove over’ ubiquitous ungulates - make room for daddy and the rest of the animal kingdom to let loose with the juice. Since most everyone drowns their cereal sorrows in white power anyway, then few should complain when we start to drain Albino snakes for sugar flakes. Let’s face it, milk is a two-timing color sponge chameleon anyway that can’t be trusted. My Cocoa Puffs bow to the brownie cow, while the Crunchberries continually cry crimson; but Lucky Charms n’ liquid lactation always warms to a hinty tint-of-mint libation.

Do you really want to play in downy white snow or better still, eat it up, if it were naturally yellow? What if brown sugar was white and refined, while white sugar was raw and came in both light and dark brown shades - would our cookies taste the same even when tossed? Would we dream about rainbows if they were triangles in shades of gray, and the gold pot at the end called its kettle black? Would you still squeeze blackberries if they made rude sounds like raspberries or ever cut cheeses if they didn’t?

Would you drink gray water if it was clearly safe or hide under an umbrella from purple rain even if you weren’t a Prince? What if strawberries tasted like hay and blueberries were always depressed – would their memory leave a permanent stain? What if old wrinkled elderberries got brown spots and fragrant when past their prime and jaundiced bananas turned green with envy when ready to eat?

Wow, I’m feeling a little woozy – this ‘off-balanced’ thing is highly overrated. Too many questions and possibilities for change, when free-associating color paradigms, challenging logic and abandoning Aristotelian Physics. I feel like I am back in Mad Hatter class again at my alma what’s-the-matter, ‘Lewis Carol College’. Ok I’ll say it – ‘I LIKE being stuck with my immovable ruts, blanket assumptions, and ridiculously predictable habits’. I promise to make at least one significant change in my life however - this is the last time I’m ordering the ‘FUN GUY’ special from that hippie joint ‘Psychedelic Pizza for Psquares’.


14 comments:

  1. Hahaha, I don't even know where to start with that one! You just crack me up that's all there is too it!

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  2. No way on earth would I drink anything gray! Bleccch!

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  3. I mean to leave a comment on the topic but get caught up in smiling at how you write ... wonderful! :o)

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  4. I have sometimes heard that writers are frequently asked where they get their ideas.
    And I'm thinking I don't really want to ask this time.
    :)

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  5. That was a unique post! Mind-boggling to say the least! Thanks for visiting my blog! Hope you come back soon!

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  6. The tasting color part reminds me of people who have synethesia.

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  7. Oh, wow, this was great! I have never thought about everything in this way. You are deep, funny and I like it!

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  8. Great wordplay that spewed out of your brain!
    Or was it "wordwork" that came outta the woodwork?
    Just wondering whether you English teacher passed
    you due to your brilliance. Or did she move you on just because she was afraid of how you think?
    WE WANT MORE !!!

    .

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  9. I like the fun you have with words. The only thing in here that appeals to me is purple rain. And psychedelic pizza, just one slice.
    xoRobyn

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  10. Oh gray water- I just don't think I could do it. When you are teaching kids how to talk you start to notice how many things are kind of weird and off as it is :)

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  11. This reminds me when Heinz changed things up with their purple and green ketchup. I knew it tasted the same but it was weird eating different colored ketchup.

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  12. I wouldn't hide from purple rain. I would embrace it. Unless it stained my skin. I don't want to look like an oversized blueberry.

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  13. Very color rainbow if random thoughts. He wonders if this is how the color blind see.

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