Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Dope on SOAP!

Hey I know I don’t bathe twice a day like some of you clean-freaks, but that does not mean I avoid a good soaping up whenever a public fountain or truck wash presents a golden, shower opportunity. I actually like to be clean but for some odd reason my mother starting ducking her Head n’ Shoulders and shirking her Q-tip & Brillo duties when I turned the ripe age of 40.

Since I don’t want to blacken our catfish or the bathtub they swim in, these days I have to fend for myself perched on a bowl out in the North 40 (feet) of the back yard. It’s not so bad except for those cheeky beaky birds and their ‘shell-fish’ need to lord over the Irish Spring. The truth is I am not all that sure which soaps do what anymore? When I was younger we didn’t have a thousand cleaning choices like now; we just had Lava bar soap packed with pumice or a can of chlorinated Comet. They both did a great job of degreasing my dark parts and the only thing that could take the dirt (and skin) off faster was a potato peeler and a big bag of lyme – would I LYE?

These days, while I totally approve of a laundry detergent which can do it ALL, I am not completely comfortable with a soap that will make me smell like a DOVE. At Target, there are literally aisles of specialized hair cleansers for oiled, soiled, dry, fly, & flaky follicles - or now I wonder if I was staring at the cans of tuna fish? So what happens if my body pollutions require an all-of-the-above solution or advanced ablutions to get squeaky clean? Does that mean the cleansing potions I should only pursue are a slew of the new shampoos, or do I use a few, of the older tried and true goos too?

Yes I am beginning to babble because my knitted-wit is obviously confused over a current conundrum uncovered from this Cascade of cleaners. By my age, you would hope I had learned to cope with all the dope on soap and know how to use each product to its maximum benefit. But alas, my ol’ ego has egg-o all over its ID, because today I saw a news story of teens who seem clean, but surely must be even DIRTIER down south than me? You see - by sucking spigots of over-the-counter antiseptic hand cleaner, these ‘dumb-sters’ run a 120 proof alcohol jelly-belt down their gullets to clean-out all those nasty G.I. tract germs! Now why didn’t I think of that? Make bath-time FUN with a body wash, rocket fuel, and a martini all in one. Obviously I need to play in the sprinklers more often … and maybe buy some of those olives impaled with the little umbrella toothpicks!


  1. Now that's a squeaky clean post!

  2. If you buy one of everything, you'll keep all the companies happy, and more importantly your wife, too. Well, that is if you actually use the products.

  3. I know on thing that will get you clean most definitely. Now I don't know how old you are, but when I was a little girl my gram & mom used a bar of soap called LAVA SOAP! Dad used it on his hands after he was done working on the car. How about that one? ~hehehe~ Thanks for the idea, but I guess I'm paranoid about my back, and I have a tendancy to be accident prone, but if I did it would have to be after my shots & that's not until the 11th of May. The pain is back and I mostly feel it in the morning & have to walk with a walker until I walk off the pain. I sleep a lot now too just so I don't have to deal with it. Thanks for the laughs. I may be stopping by more often just to take my mind off of... well you know. You sure have a way of putting a smile on one's face. Have a great day my friend and thanks for stopping by. I bet you keep your wife constantly laughing don't you. hahaha your Post is a riot. I like it though cuz you really have to follow it, and it makes you think. You're very good with words. Have a great day my friend & if you like music stop by today, and check out what we've got.

  4. Our Walmarts have water faucets that turn on with no hand contact. But you still have to push the soap dispenser manually.
    But no fear of touching that -- some guys leave restrooms without washing at all. In a hurry to
    get back to their jobs, probably.
    Like Fry-Cooks !!! Yum - no soapy food!

  5. I don't worry about using soap, I wear a few car air freshners around my neck. It does the job and it saves $ on unnecessary soap.

  6. I love your photos! You have fun, as I do!
    silly soap
    Greetings from Cottage Country!