Thursday, August 16, 2012

Eau du Loterie

Despite what your local state might spout, playing the lottery is not exactly a smart investment choice. Yeah I know supposedly the money goes to schools and of course there is nothing wrong with sticking a quick pick tick in your sock for a special occasion. But remember even if your talcumed tootsies are extra minty fresh, no matter how the odds appear to nod, the true motto of the lotto is definitely NOTTO! 

Instead of having NO CHANCE to win I prefer to take a gamble on life’s little lotteries that seem to pop up every day. You know the ones, where the local fast food chain will let you play some lame game to win a ‘buy one get one’ burger or fries for free. Oh sure you scoff now, but how many times have you put a buck down on the state lottery and DOUBLED your money – worse still, even with BBQ sauce those rub-off tickkies aren’t too tasty.

I also noticed that even Lay’s, the potato chip people have a million dollar prize for simply suggesting a new flavor combo idea for their crisps. Now believe me, this is the kind of lottery that I should have in the BAG! I have spent years out-sizing belts and blowing buttons to research the best flavored snack foods so imagine my delight in the thought of possibly getting PAID back in something other than empty calories.

So while weekly 50 million folks fixate on their springy ping pong power balls and weave dreams and high hopes that their days are TRULY numbered, I will be enjoying an even better combo of crispy chips and a sensational salty opportunity of my own. Yeah I know the odds are still against me since it's doubtful that the Fates and haters will ever truly appreciate my 'baked bean n' egg flavored 'taters'. Don't worry though, my feelings won't get hurt. Like ALL lotteries after playing, it's not the bad taste that they leave in your mouth - it's just that they all STINK!


  1. What about Spam flavored chips?

  2. Years ago they had lots of contests for writing clever comments, slogans or 'what I like about your product.'
    But that was back when schools
    were underfunded and teachers were underpaid
    and kids learned how to write.
    We're only smart enough for lotteries now.
    So how come we feel lucky enough to buy tickets?