My two cents on O’Charley’s

Of course in challenging economic times, people should keep track of their money. In reality however, you’ll probably do just fine even if you miss a few pennies. I do not have this luxury on a number of fronts. First, I am routinely over-obsessed with fairness. So if something says it is 2 for a dollar then I expect it to be that way. It is not really the money at all – it’s just an 'expectation' thing mostly.

My second challenge is that my wife REALLY DOES account for every penny with proper notation for every thing purchased. That means if you buy gas for a particular car along with gas for the lawnmower, those two expenses need to be broken out in explicit detail. It is best to deal with this by obtaining separate receipts of such purchases and more often than not, I prefer to use credit cards. As opposed to cash, Plastic documents the transaction for me whereas with cash I have to write down expenses on the back of old gum wrappers or makeshift papyrus fabricated from pocket lint.

Now mind you I am not deterred by this process or restricted on purchases in any way. This is not a control issue but it is an accounting issue. My wife NEEDS to know where the money is going and by all measures I support the effort. What’s notable about this, beyond the rigor of bookkeeping, is that I am probably the one who people might associate as being a penny pincher? My wife is not a shopper or much of a consumer for that matter, so she has little inclination to worry about comparative costs on her rare shopping excursions. I on the other hand choose to shop endlessly to find the BEST deal. Only years of therapy have educated me enough to understand that driving all over town to try and save a couple of cents a gallon on gas, COSTS MORE, than just buying the marginally higher priced gas a half mile from home.

What REALLY bugs me though with regard to prices was recently illustrated with an O’Charley’s dinner promotion. This popular chain restaurant is known for its good quality food and reasonably priced menu. So their recent offer of ‘2 dinners for only $15’ struck me as a fairly good value. On television the food looked tasty and seemed like a great destination for my wife and I later in the week. Well then O’Charley’s did something that drives me insane – they offered the aforementioned food deal in the SAME advertisement but they added ‘OR GET AN INDIVIDUAL DINNER FOR ONLY $7.49!!)

WHAT???? You are now offering me BULK pricing of 2 dinners for $15 or individual dinners for only $7.49? Why would I ever buy a dinner meal for two from these people? I may still take my wife to this place but I am telling you right now, she is on her own when it comes to ordering her meal. I did not just fall off the turnip truck – those guys are trying to overcharge me by two cents! I know my rights – I’m an American. This is clearly discrimination against people who like to buy dinners in multiples of two!

Can you imagine the poor Mormon guy pulling into an O’Charley’s with his wives trying to make sense of this deal? “Yeah you and the wife will pay $15 but the sister-wife, she gets the SAME food for a penny less!” This is just unacceptable. I cannot go to O’Charley’s until they change this discriminatory policy.

We need to start standing up for justice in this country and I can proudly say “It starts with me!” I propose all people, - black, white, Mormon – even people without mouths or teeth, should be able to buy O’Charley dinners for the VERY same $7.50 price. I know it seems radical, but in 30 or 40 years from now, this generation will be remembered for fighting the good ‘ food fight’ and not backing down to evil corporate America. I could give you more than my two cents on the subject of fairness, but sadly I just spent it on a pair of dinners? Let’s eat!