Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The "UN-loved" nest

As much as I appreciate the benefits of Spring, I am not in love with all of the nests that creatures start to fabricate this time of year. I guess it would not be as big of deal if they would just find somewhere else to practice their construction skills other than in my stuff and on my house.

I used to have a porch light by the front door of my home. Every year, I would have to be vigilant daily to knock down a few errant sticks or else within a week, some bird would startle me every time I opened the door. They would flap in my face loudly as they flew away in fear. Yeah I’m bigger than them but I have a general policy NOT to disturb nests once they are fully formed, so the birds had nothing to worry about. I have since eliminated the bird problem by getting rid of the light and installing two overhead ‘can’ lights for porch illumination. Stupid creatures can try to mess with me but I’ll ALWAYS win.

This year, probably to spite me, before I knew it, a sparrow had built a nest in a small hole in my Bar-B-Que cover. Ok, it was my fault for not fixing the cover right away - who knew that there are tangible benefits from being so UNHOLY? But still, Spring has not even fully sprung yet and now my bar-b-que is out of commission for at least a month or two until the hatchlings go off to college. Worse yet, the mother bird must have some anger-management issues, because she’ll sit atop the bar-b-que screaming and carrying-on. It’s no wonder her husband is never around. I don’t want to be around either but the grill sits just outside the window where I try to work quietly on the computer.

To add to my blossoming Spring frustrations, inexplicably for the first time, the wasps seem to want to build a nest INSIDE my mailbox. Now I am not saying these insects are dumb, but even a modicum of reconnaissance would tell you that particular spot is DISTURBED at least twice daily by humans. Of course every time I open the box to retrieve my mail, a bunch of dumb mud wasps dart out and make me jump. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you … those can lights over the porch – NOW the wasps call those home too. Though I’ve never have been stung or pecked by anything with its own nest, living here is clearly bad for my mental health and making me feel unloved. These springy creatures are smart and they ‘bug’ me relentlessly to try and drive me away from my ‘Nest sweet Nest’ – I’ll never win.

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