I started taking on the horribly lengthy task of cleaning up the garage. Now I don’t want to give you the wrong impression as I am more disorganized than I am some kind of freakish un-washed hoarder. Ok, I’m frequently un-washed but I can assure you, my house and garage are not stacked floor to ceiling with a combination of mongrel cats and old newspapers.
Still I have an awful lot of things stuffed into our poor old garage beyond tools, cars, and sports equipment. I am wholly to blame for this problem. When things break for other people, they simply throw the offending object away. But for me, if I cannot fix something, I like to hold on to it and let it season like fine wine. Since there is NO SUCH THING as fine wine (sorry), I eventually will strip the junk of any potentially useful parts and finally, though begrudgingly, throw the rest away.
My wife puts up with this strange ritual because at times in that melee of spare power cords, motors, plastic, and bolts she finds something useful or maybe a nut that she might need (that being me of course). Recently I crossed the line however as she discovered my trash can full of broken glass and expected an explanation. Like the Grinch of ‘Suess-ian’ legend, I had to think up a lie and quick, so I told her I was going to melt the stuff so in 60 minutes I would have an hour glass. She said my protests reminded her more of a ‘WHINE’ glass than the truth, so I knew I had better change my trashy ways or else.
So during my glassy-eyed effort to organize, classify or dispose of the surplus garage materials into appropriate food groups, I decided to actually melt that glass for my wife as promised. It took about an hour but with the addition of an aluminum nail, a lot of heat, and oh yeah my TWO CENTS, I made a delightful uh … bird thing, chicken WHATEVER sculpture. Now most of you won’t appreciate my ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ effort, but I felt truly empowered! Not only had I made my wife a delightfully quirky recycled love gift with a ‘glassy soul’, but just like the Federal government, I had the pleasure of making money EVAPORATE into thin air.