It’s time to have THE TALK!

I did something really challenging at Thanksgiving – I made my family TALK. Yes, somehow I corralled everyone into the same stockyard and got them away from the caloric turkey-trough, computers, and TV for a few minutes of an actual honest to goodness, face to face, 'blab-fest'. Better yet, this was not some inane ‘convo’ about Black Friday deals or the annoying antics of wanna-be starlets and reality TV freaks. No this was the sizzling fresh and uncomfortably hot topic about their personal opinions on, of all things, IMMIGRATION.

Now before you light your hair on fire and run for the border in disgust with passport in hand like my family attempted, trust me, my motives were not actually political at all. You see, I recently had the opportunity to join a ‘digital media’ class taught by our local PBS television affiliate known as the ‘nineNetwork’ here in St. Louis. We met for about 15 hours a week for close to a month and the studio provided media professionals to teach our classes how to film stories and edit interviews using their HD video cameras and Apple’s ‘Final Cut’ software to edit the finished product.

The nineNetwork, is currently producing a television documentary called ‘Homeland’ which attempts to address the immigration issue from personal perspectives rather than the typical political one. If all goes well, you should see the end product on your local PBS station by Spring 2011. I’ve linked the site address HERE should you wish to piece together a new perspective on the immigration issue, or simply want to leave a ‘piece of your mind’. Regardless, all comments are encouraged and welcome as they all ultimately contribute to the overall understanding and relevancy of this much maligned topic.

While it was certainly challenging to venture out of my comfort zone to play ‘cub’ reporter / editor and interview strangers for a few weeks; I was surprised at how rewarding it was to simply sit with my own family members and talk to them too. Oh sure, we ‘jaw’ all the time just like you do with your own brood on the day’s work, weather, cars, TV etc. But rarely do we all sit around a table and look at each other ‘eye to eye’ and dare discuss controversial current events like immigration. Too much fear that somebody might take offense or judge one another poorly, especially when compounded with the stress of a holiday get-together.

Happily however, it turned into a very rewarding experience for all. It seemed that once the initial shyness of recording comments for posterity had evaporated, the group honestly enjoyed having the chance to ‘speak-up’, listen, and interact without constraints, and ‘on the record’. Even after the ‘official’ roundtable had ended and the camera was bagged, the conversation continued. My wife commented later in private, that she had learned something NEW about her brother after nearly 46 years and she had really enjoyed the overall discussion.

So the moral of the story is ‘HAVE THE TALK’! Find a way to muzzle the electronics and endless media onslaught for just a few minutes per week and have a conversation TOGETHER with the people who YOU know best and SHOULD know you. Don’t be afraid – it’s actually loads of fun and you may end up learning (or teaching) something new. No you won’t always agree, nor will you or your family's opinions always be appreciated or particularly insightful, but that’s not the point. Your mission as an immigrant to this brave new world of familial conversation, is to simply crack the door open into the ancient but lost art, as a respectful SOURCE of discourse of course. Enjoy!

Prime Nine + one reason I am thankful

I must depart from the mirth and mayhem to wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. Yes it truly is this time of year where we pause to reflect upon our collective good fortunes and temporarily set aside our gripes and frustrations. Actually I think it is a good habit to take the time to REGULARLY acknowledge the best aspects of our daily lives - NOT just on holidays. That does not mean you have to settle for less or ignore the assault of real problems in your daily struggle. Rather, the point is that we ALL have much more to be thankful for than what can be crammed into the confines of a few special days per year.

So I give my appropriate thanks to all the people, places, and things that have made, and will continue to make my life so exhilarating. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have enjoyed such an interesting and memorable ride over these past years. The journey has not always been easy, but it almost always has been a true adventure, and for that I consider myself to be unbelievably lucky. I sincerely hope you feel the same and even if you don’t here are nine more reasons to at least smile if not be, outright thankful! Cheers!

1) Not only after a big holiday meal but year round, I am thankful for stretch-band slacks and Beano.

2) I am thankful that turkeys do not choose to do the same things to humans as we do to them.

3) I am thankful for our governmental foibles and failings – so I can focus on anything BUT my own screw-ups & personal responsibilities.

4) Isn’t it great that cheese cake is 90% cake and 10% cheese rather than the other way around or it would be REALLY fattening.

5) I am thankful that ‘FLIP’ mini video cams don’t actually do THAT while you are filming, or the recordings would be jumpy and hard to watch even in high definition.

6) I’m thankful that meteorologists routinely indentify ‘dew points’ so they can remain regular and Pepto-free.

7) While I am thankful for ’Black Friday’, I would be even more grateful if ALL other races had their own bargain shopping day too.

8) I am very thankful that there are only 24 hours in a day or no doubt NBC’s extended ‘Today’ show programming would still be going into tomorrow.

9) And finally, except for when I am in San Francisco, I am ALWAYS really happy with the toy in my ‘Happy meal’

SCAN THIS!

Ok I am getting a little bored with the whole debate over the airport screening flap. I am all about protecting personal freedoms ESPECIALLY as an American, but give me a break with the manufactured indignation over stupid airport scanners. There are plenty of other REAL problems in the world to worry about.

My wife flies commercial usually twice a week and I hit the unfriendly skies 3 or 4 times a year. I can tell you, honestly I wish I did not have to get undressed every time I see a Transportation Security Agent (but they just look so good in those pretty blue shirts). In reality however, I get more stressed about leaving the ‘Cinnabon’ stand behind in the food court than getting unduly man-handled by security wonks in starched collared shirts.

I mean, I try to look at the positive side when I am flying. Without the TSA folks, I would never know that most of my socks have holes in them. I am kind of hoping that with these new total body scanners, the agents can help me check for excessive wear in my undies too? Who knows, maybe I can save a few bucks on dental x-rays or hopefully discover an actual pig inside of me to justify all my body bacon?

I was really good at avoiding the gym showers in high school, so of all people, I am not anxious to have pictures of my love handles scrutinized by random airport cops, but I’m sure it’s no picnic for them either. The reality is I prefer to make a little better travel time to both coasts than is currently possible by horse, buggy, or bus. These holiday travel babies need to fly private at four times the cost or wear lead-lined diapers in a twist if they're so concerned with intrusive security.

I for one hate trying to get caps off of aerosol paint cans, yet I don’t see barrio ‘taggers’ crying to the press about this unfair inconvenience. I can’t even sneak a nightcap swig of Nyquil anymore without pulling off an inner safety seal. And those poor tobacco fans – not only do they get taxed to death faster than they can smoke themselves there; now they will have to stare at a giant diseased black lung on their cigarette packs while puffing.

So I know the whiners pine away for the good ol’ days of airline travel in America. The ruthless scanner-cams have really made us miss our freedoms just like teens do when they have to grow up into REAL adults. The new reality however, is that we ALL do what we HAVE to do to show up in one piece at the end of the line, baggage safely in hand, and ALIVE. I don’t expect everyone to take this SCANdalous new TSA policy lightly, sitting down. I expect you to just STAND UP, get in line, and take your pats FIRMLY, just like the rest of us … so we can all get where we are going and turn our attention to more important things.

Smoke Signals

I think other than my Mother, I have an inherent distrust of things that are designed to protect me. Actually I am not so sure about my mom either because she seems unusually obsessed with that ‘Bad Seed’ movie. Ever since I saw that flick with her, I have avoided boat docks and bad weather for the last 30 years and I never, EVER have shown her any ‘medals’ that I have stolen from my friends.

The problem is that I guess I am a better learner by example. I know I should be more trusting but I think it is actually prudent to VERIFY the stuff charged with the responsibility to keep me alive. I guess that means I need to run into something to see if my car air bags and seat belts work reliably? I would be very disappointed if I paid for all of that technology and it doesn’t work if I need it. I wonder how you test ‘Body Guards’ if you are rich and famous? I admit I rarely have to dodge lead bullets but it’s all those pies that I am usually avoiding that worry me. Maybe I should get a skinny cook rather than a fat body guard so I can watch the calories fly by?

You know it is kind of funny, they make us test smoke detectors every six months and yet not once has anyone ever checked my seat belts or air bags on any of my cars. What’s worse is that I KNOW how many false alarms I have had with smoke detectors after a bad run-in with some rogue popcorn or a Cajun blackened Pop-Tart. In the old days when we had just one or two battery driven smoke detectors, I would just reach up and pop the battery out until the room aired out.

But now, when one A.C. powered detector goes off, it sends a warning signal to its 15 other noisy friends occupying every impossibly high ceiling in the house! I have no idea which detector is causing trouble at two in the morning, so I have to wander the house in a jamied stupor, putting my life in danger checking every room for smoke. I have never been in peril from fire but I have had a few close calls popping into random bedrooms sniffing conspicuously – most people don’t appreciate that kind of attention from an old geezer. Gee I am sure lucky to have all of this reliable modern technology protecting me … I just wish those Indians would have let my Mayflower ancestors in on the secret that ‘smoke signals’ are really REALLY noisy!

The pleasures of elections

Well regardless of who your favorite son or daughter did in the tallies, the pleasure of elections is when they are OVER! I don’t mean to sound unpatriotic. I am actually thrilled to live in a country where I can exuberantly stand up and be counted without literally losing my head!

At the end of the day though, it is nice to put all of the constant noise and chaff to bed. I think overall though, politics must certainly be good for the economy. I mean just look at how many tv and radio ads are sold. I would guess that if you owned and were paying the bills for a TV station, you would wish for an election vote EVERY Tuesday and a Superbowl EVERY Sunday.

I am not sure what the big hyped surprise of this election is however? How many of your friends would remain so if you simply ignored them even when they were waving their arms, sending smoke signals, and pleading with you to slow down and LISTEN? The electorate felt ignored and cheated so what do you expect, roses and champagne or a big old kick in the pants?

Now don’t get me wrong, there is no mighty mandate here. The people just went on a ‘bad date’ so it is going to be awhile before they warm up to finding ‘Mr. or Mrs. Right’ again. If the newbies saunter into Washington expecting to be loved or even liked without earning their way back into our hearts, they will end up lonely and kicked to the curb next time too.

The biggest pleasure of this election might be, if we are lucky, our politicians, regardless of party, will start treating the U.S. Treasury with the same care and respect that they do their own checkbooks? Hmmm, on second thought though that is probably a dangerous proposition … I bet their personal checks bounce even bigger than their overinflated egos!