Thursday, July 8, 2010

Don't Tease the News Dummies

Do you ever watch the nightly news and just kind of stare in wonderment at their news anchors who resemble talking puppet heads with mouths that move? Are these folks real or are they made out of wood? I’m guessing they are real, or by now, their noses would be too big for television? What should I expect for a business that basically focuses on endless self-promotion rather than hard news these days.

If it is not the tease for the next segment coming up AFTER the 3 minutes of commercials, it is the hook to the celebrity gossip show right after the news. Often a correspondent’s report will conclude with a lengthy explanation of how to get to the news station’s website FIRST, so you can find the web address of something they JUST hyped on their show. I guess it is just too difficult to run a crawler on the screen or better yet, let the on-air talent earn their pay and TELL you the address for whatever they are pitching. Funny that little station icon, along with some sponsor’s ad seems to float ceaselessly on the screen with no problems?

I started trying to make a reasonable guess as to how much actual news I get in a 30 minute broadcast program. I do not get cable or satellite so your numbers might be different but I’ll bet, not by much. Out of 30 minutes, nearly a third of the program is commercials. Of the remaining 21minutes approximately 1 minute is dedicated to fancy digital graphics and colorful transitions for the opening, closing and introductions to each programming segment. 4 minutes is dedicated to weather and another 4 minutes to sports. That leaves an incredible 12 minutes to actually deliver REAL news – kind of?

8 minutes of that that time is local stuff related to our area. Generally less than 1 minute of all that local tripe will have anything to actually do with fiscal issues or local civics. It is no wonder no one votes or understands what government does or (more appropriately) doesn’t do for all that collected tax booty. Yeah the ‘newsies’ will do some lame segue to nary 2 minutes of national news and less than a minute of international stuff because if it’s not in my backyard , who cares right?

That last 1 minute, well that is the most important GLUE that keeps the nightly newscast house of cards from doing a Humpty Dumpty. That is the inane chit-chat, giggles, and ‘feel-good’ mindless self-promotion that we all love so much. Hmmm, sounds a little bit like THIS BLOG! Oh no, I think I’m slipping into the media abyss of endless pap like a ‘talking head’. No, never fear, I’m not that much of a dummy!


  1. I Haven't watched the local news in years for just those reasons. I am, however, addicted to FOXNews.....24/7 it seems.

  2. You've got too much time on your hands if you're analyzing all of this!!! LOL!!!!!

    BTW, what the heck is on your face in that profile pic, anyway? LETTUCE???

  3. How about a contest to guess what that green stuff on his face is. Unless it IS his face!
    I'm saying it's ALGAE. (He thought girls were calling him a "Fun Guy" -- but they were saying he's FUNGI.) Har Har.