Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Plunger Paradox

Bathrooms are just about my favorite rooms in the whole world. Except for maybe the kitchen, what other rooms are so popular and important, that you want as many of ‘em as you can afford to stuff into a house. Generally I have a 1 bathroom per person rule, because after a big Chinese gut-buster meal, nobody should have to suffer restricted access to clean porcelain.

I do have a teensy tiny irritation though with my throne room. Beyond the standard operating gear, I always seem to be stuck with having to stock the joint with a variety of add-ons. Although these things may be necessary from time to time, they definitely are extras so I have little patience for all the space they require and the clutter they cause. My wife stocks band-aids, ‘girl stuff’, even a new toothbrush and paste in the guest bathrooms.

You need not worry, even here in Missouri, standard issue in our restrooms is toilet paper not corn cobs as some would have you believe. I am also ok with the little fancy ‘froo froo’ towels and the pretty pump bottle full of amber colored liquid soap too. Yes I wish it were filled with that gritty LAVA soap or maybe a tub of that 'Agent Orange' stuff they use to clean off fingernail grease at gas stations.

What I hate the most is those foot soldiers that line up behind the toilet waiting for my call to duty. You know the things – the Plunger and the Scrubber. Those dudes are not pretty no matter how you try to dress them up. The paradox of course is that nobody wants to look at these stool-tools in an attractive restroom, but if you hide them, guests will not be able to use them in time of need. If only I could invent a way to hide these things in plain sight, but still make them accessible? I know – I’ll mount them horizontally near the sink and hang fresh towels on them. Now that’s a kind of project I can PLUNGE in to!

1 comment:

  1. You know what perplexes WHY they are called "restrooms". I dunno about you, but I sure as shit (no pun intended) do not go into them to "rest". Call them washrooms or even bathrooms - but restrooms?! (It took me a long time to get used to that when I moved here. No one I knew in Ontario called them that!)