I have hang ups

I know sometimes you just have to face your demons and put everything out on the table for the world to see. I hope you will not judge me when you find out that indeed, NONE of the hangers in my house match! You would think if you went to the same dry cleaner every week, then at least some of the hangers would look the same? I would pay more attention to this issue, but I usually get distracted by those dry cleaning plastic bags. Did you know that those things make GREAT toys?

Hangers around here are like socks. Despite my best effort to round ‘em up like long lost cattle, it always seems I come back with a hamper full of odd-ball hangers if hangers at all. Is that normal? Do you think there are Australian elves hiding somewhere in the house stealing hangers and ripping out their hooks to make their ‘factory seconds’ boomerang quota? You have to watch those crafty members of the ‘Brotherhood Union of Gnomes, Leprechauns, and Elves (BUGLE). Yeah, they’ll ‘ trumpet’ their work ethic, but as soon as your back is turned, oddly another hanger (and sock) magically ends up missing.

Even though none look the same, I do have a wide variety of clothes hangers. I actually like the cheap wire ones quite a bit because the clothes compact well in our overstuffed closets. No doubt they bend too easily, but that is actually a great asset for an absent minded mental giant like me, who locks his keys in his car so often. Our second most prevalent hanger is the thicker plastic round type. I always wanted someday to color code these to match the color of the clothes. The only problem is that ALL our clothes are issued in a distinct shade of ‘prison’ gray, or have become that way after years of marginal washboard cleaning.

We have some nice wood pants hangers and other odd-ball versions with clips, rubber, or foam padded arms. Quite a few of the hangers have notches or hooks all over them for dress straps or slips. I personally keep my dresses folded in a drawer away from prying eyes, and the only slips that I’ve acquired in quantity are PINK in color. I guess I really need to clean up my act huh? I admit it, I do have a few weird hang-ups in my personal closet. But you have to understand, the bats are my pets, and a source of valuable, nitrogen- rich fertilizer for the garden. I may change someday but ‘don’t hold your breath’ – it’s a lot more fun to play inside a dry cleaner plastic bag and let it do it for you!