Friday, August 6, 2010

Toughest modeling job ever!

I was watching my regular dose of morning news when an intriguing commercial caught my eye. I observed intently as high-fashion models confidently displayed the advertiser’s clothing line with poise and grace. What made these catwalk ‘fashionistas’ so unique was not only their … uh let’s put this ‘delicately’ - bulky waistlines, but the fact that their clothes took TWO models to show them off to their full advantage.

So who were these hard working oversized models? I really don’t know, but one thing is for sure – their high-heeled Mothers are parading them around and are indeed PREGNANT! Now it is one thing to choose your own career but quite another to pick your kid’s even before they leave the womb right? I mean, what if the kid wants to be an intrauterine ENT specialist or even a ditch-digger? Those are such ‘HOLELY’ diverse professions requiring far different skill-sets, from those that a brief 9 month long modeling intern(al)ship can provide.

I thought we had child LABOR laws in this country, because this has to be one of the hardest jobs ever for fetuses. You are kind of all curled up like a snail and your trying to get some rest, but then the music starts and those hot lights raise mom’s blood pressure slightly. As her heart beats a little faster, you too get a little more excited and issue a few celebratory kicks to shake off the grogginess. You secretly wonder if this is the job for you but let’s face it, given your surroundings, the current career options are rather limited and all really, REALLY gooey.

So if you happen to see a high-fashion commercial for maternity clothing, think about what is going on behind the scenes, or ‘inside them’ as it were. Somewhere under all that colorful garb and behind hot white lights, is a little fashion Diva awaiting to celebrate their very first birthday and ‘oh so fabulous’, Fashion week, runway curtain-call! Yes, you might have to slap them once, tell them to breathe, and no doubt, there will be some crying involved while swaddling. But in the end, after you wipe away all the make-up and fancy designer duds, everyone knows that ALL models, deep down, are just big babies!


  1. Geeze, silly me....all this time I thought those "pregger" models were just wearing fake baby bellies.

  2. Seems our bloggist knows a lot more 'inside'
    info than we do about FETALITY.
    I always wondered how early he started blogging, and now we know.
    But how did he hook up enough light to write in there? Oh, -- he had a cord!

  3. Ahhhhhahahaha!! You are so crazy! Loved this post. BTW, I owe you a HUGE apology!! Every time I have referred to your blog on my blog, I have called it the Pajama MONOLOGUES!! What an idiot I am! How did I miss that awesome play on words? (beating my head with a hammer right now) I promise I will redeem my most grievous error on my next post. MonoBLOGS, monoBLOGS, monoBLOGS, monoBLOGS...I'm going to make myself write it out 100s of times (in my sleep...I gotsta go to bed now). AND, you were so nice not to ever call me out for the idiot that I am. Worthless! :(