Hygiene - Razors n’ Flossing

One of my least favorite personal maintenance tasks is shaving. Cutting my hair comes in at a close second but shaving is definitely first. I guess I just am kind of a ‘hair hate monger’ or something? My sensitive nature was probably damaged beyond repair when I won the ‘longest leg hair’ competition at music camp in 8th grade.

I have tried all kinds of razors but have kind of settled on an electric triple head job. It works ok I guess, but I actually try to spend as little time with it as possible. It is not unusual to make a 1 minute pass over the rough spots and call it good enough. The trouble is that I will get out in the light of day and find out I have eccentrically missed patches of whiskers randomly around the chin and upper lip. Generally now, my wife will make me pass a flashlight whisker inspection if we are going out to meet REAL people.

At a recent garage sale, I found an old Durham Demonstrator straight razor. Actually it is not really straight at all as it has the normal arc of an antique razor handle but the shaving end actually looks like a double sided comb. I did not know the name or anything about the razor but my wife collects small antique tools, medical equipment, or anything with some history. So I thought it would be a fun thing to own and a cheap research project since I only paid one bit (12.5 cents). Turns out it was the first attempt at a safety razor in good old 1907 since those comb teeth kept your fingers and face slightly back away from the blade. I don’t think they make blades for this thing anymore, but on-line it sounds like CARPET cutting blades are a substitute. Oh gee that sounds like good Halloween fun – shredding one’s face up with a carpet knife?

So for at least 103 years between the Durham straight razor and my electric Norelco, men have been dealing with these annoying whiskers? Why haven’t the NAIR people developed a nice acid paste to burn that hair off my face yet? You would think that along with all those Rogaine prescriptions being sold, there is also probably a little room for some ‘RoGOAWAY’ stuff too? Doesn’t it seem still a bit primitive to be sliding a honed stainless blade along your face. Who do these people think they are marketing to - RAMBO? Let’s get rid of this barbaric practice and concentrate on classier and flashier personal hygiene like dental care and flossing. That reminds me, I think I’m out of floss . . . no problem though, I can always farm a few yards of un-waxed from beneath my calf-length socks!