Designer "SunGasses"

Hey I get it, you are supposed to protect your eyes from V.D., U.V., B.O., or some other random alphabet pairings of harmful sun rays. I think sunglasses are so great in fact that I even own a pair. But what I don’t get is the need to have fifty pairs of sunglasses or some designer initials glued on my face?

When did the world change so much from being ALMOST practical? When I was a kid, I do not remember everybody having lots of sunglasses or lots of anything for that matter. I knew we were not rich growing up, but I did not feel poor either. I always had what I needed to comfortably navigate through any given day, sunny or otherwise; but I just did not have lots of extras to waste.

Now it seems that everything from eyewear to underwear comes in various colors, styles, and designer brands. Honestly now at least with sunglasses somebody might actually notice that name brand advertisement framing your head. But how many people do you PURPOSELY introduce to your designer under-duds, bundling your rump every day? I’m thinking if it is a high number then it is inversely reflective of your I.Q.

I also don’t understand why the most expensive Sunglasses have the dorkiest names. I thought you are supposed to be ‘ultra-cool’ when you sport those top-flight, self-darkening Aviators? Is ‘OAKLEY’ really a great name? I don’t see people EVER naming their kids ‘Oakley’ and living to admit it. Now I have traveled coast to coast, and I have met many a hippy and hillbilly. But not one of these folks has had the guts to name any of their clan ‘Oakley’.

And what about ‘Ray-Ban’ – does anyone named Ray actually own these things or is the privilege strictly for the rest of us ‘un-RAY-diated’? 'Ray-Ban' sounds like a bad knock-off battery to me or maybe Flash Gordon’s interstellar ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy. I don’t know, maybe I should breakdown and invest in pair of designer sunglasses that match my skivvies? If I do, you’ll be the first to know. Just look for the easily recognizable and famous maker’s initials – P.U. !