Friday, July 23, 2010

Hot - Cold - Hot - Chile

When the weather turns hot and sticky, most of my energy is dedicated to running between an air conditioned car, house, or place of business. Yes I have perfected the ‘dart and sweat’ method like a seasoned prison escapee on the lamb, with mint jelly and just a hint of rosemary. As a thrifty sort that I am, I generally don’t mind the heat too much as long as I don’t HAVE to pay nature’s gas or fuel oil bill.

Now obviously I DO have to fork out truck loads of cash to try and cool off my family of froot loops and the air inside this cereal box we call home. I do it begrudgingly since I generally believe that suffering is good for the constitution; and moreover for the patriotic ‘green energy’ dweebs, because a cheap electric BILL is always right!

Most of the time nobody complains since I have installed fans in nearly every room of the house along with legions of Japanese Geisha to flap them ‘round the clock’. Obviously by name alone, I would have preferred to use historical Chinese ‘Coolies’ instead, but none were available. Clearly these days, the descendants of Central Asia prefer to knock off DVD’s and designer handbags to help plant a ‘Golden Spike’ in the heart of America’s myopic consumer economy.

Whew, I don’t know if it is all of this fiery commentary or just the weather, but it’s clear I am getting hot under the collar and in need of a jigger of antifreeze. I need to relax and quick. All this frosty talk is making me ‘snappy’ but that may be that I’m getting hungry too? With this weather and mood, I’m not sure if I want to eat something ‘hot’, ‘cold’, or how about a ‘forget all your troubles’ "liquid-lunch" instead? By golly I think I’ve got it; like the oil, I’ll have all '3 in 1' –a cup of “CHILLY”!


  1. Geisha vs. Coolies - things I've never compared.
    This sticky hot weather has been bad. Last night the beer glasses were sweating so bad (how bad was it?). Ok, so bad that a pool of water ran off the table and soaked my pant leg.

  2. Ha - 'L-man' are you sure it was condensation that soaked your leg? As I have gotten older, I usually blame it on the sink 'overspray'!

  3. Geisha's! I love it. It's so hot here too. You always make me laugh!

  4. Saw your can of Wolf Chili.
    I always wolf my chili. But usually Hormel. It tastes as good as most chilis and is far lighter and less fattening. But mentioning brands of chili or recipes of it can start more arguments than politics or religion.
    Maybe 'Chili-ism' IS some people's religion?

  5. Nuthin' worse than chili farts on a hot sweaty day.