Coasters

If there is one thing that this world has too many of, it is beverage coasters. I don’t even know where these ultra-dull things come from, because I can honestly say I have NEVER bought one in my life. We’ve got coasters that are made of hard marble. We’ve got ‘em in cork and another set in leather. We have coasters made of porous sand stone and some more woven in a circle with some kind of hippie hemp .

What’s wrong with just using old magazines or the Op-Ed section of the newspaper to prevent rings on furniture. I mean honestly, with blogs, what are old magazines for if not to place your cold sweaty drinks on? Coasters generally do a lousy job anyway of actually protecting my furniture. Either the water sweats down the glass and drips off the heavy coasters, or the cast- off water will form a suction and stick the lighter coasters to the glass. When you pick up your drink, the stupid stuck coaster will fall off in my lap throwing water everywhere.

I kind of wonder who would admit to making these things too? Can you imagine going to work, putting in a whole day cutting up big cork rectangle sheets into little 4 inch cork squares and circles for coasters? I bet these poor folks all hate geometry and would not be caught dead in an Applebees or random sports bar.

All the other uses for the name ‘coasters’ seem really hip too. Remember that ultra-cool 50’s singing group who recorded ‘Yakety Yak’ and a string of hits ; yep they were ‘The Coasters’. Every theme park in the world features an oh so exciting roller COASTERS. In fact they are so exciting some people routinely get the sweats and puke on them. Hmmm – come to think of it, I guess THAT is true of beverage coasters in bars too . . . no wonder I never want these things around?