It suddenly occurred to me after all these months, despite the name plastered all over the masthead, I have never discussed my favorite article of clothing – JAMMIES! Can you think of anything better in the world to lounge around all day in than a brand new pair of comfy flannel ‘jam jams’. I think the younger set is on to me though, because even schools and heaven forbid, the ultimate fashion Mecca - MALLS, are now filled with kids wearing jammies out in public!
Yes, my flannel love affair started fairly early with the advent of the ‘bunny’ pajama. You know the ones with the feet built in and that irritating flap in back. Honestly, if it were not for that airy ‘evacuation hatch’ thing, these jammies would be my standard issue jump-suit even now. I figure if nothing else, at my age, as long as the Velcro holds up, those jams would be a good ice breaker with the other kids at McDonald’s Playland. Within seconds, parents would call for reinforcements on their cells, in an effort to remove the ‘old fat goof’ in ‘feety P.J’s’, whose stuck in a tube and terrorizing their children.
So for the good of my public at large, I limit my P.J. lounging to home and terrorize my own family and occasionally the mail-lady. I tried those silky James Bond, Monte Carlo playboy type of jammies when I was younger. Although they tended to be a tad ‘cold’ when first put on, soon enough, they feel pretty slick (literally). But sadly, it was summer and our bed as it happens, was outfitted with ‘satiny’ sheets made of almost the identical material as my ‘jams’. Getting into bed was as easy as a hot knife in butter, but staying there was another matter. If I moved at all, the sheets would start to slide and gravity would take over. If I propped a leg up on my pillow, it would shoot out the other side like a loose goose. By morning, I would be on the floor in one corner of the room and all of the sheets would be huddled, cowering in another. Needless to say, I have sworn off ‘sexy’ sheets and jammies ever since.
As long as it is comfortable and not cinched up like a rodeo bull, I can wear just about anything to sleep in, though I am not a huge fan of short sleeve and pants pajamas even in summer. If it’s flannel it really NEEDS to be full length and preferably oversized. You see, once you wear flannel, it progressively shrinks a little with each successive cleaning. Within a couple of months, those once roomy long sleeve and pants ‘Flan-Jams’ fit like a pair of Lederhausen on a jolly German - AFTER Oktoberfest. A couple of months after that and I’ll tear out of the shirt like the Incredible Hulk, and the pants are relegated to serve as a warm n’ fuzzy hat to keep my ears toasty in Winter. Finally by Spring, those dedicated jammie bottoms, must be donated to charity for someone in need but who has a MUCH smaller waistline. Yeah I know just the group who run around ‘Bear’ all the time and are desperately in need of pants – my daughter’s Beanie Babies!