Recipes, Popcorn and Bedspreads

So we’ve all heard the idiomatic phrase “to butter up” someone, which simply means to ‘flatter for the purposes of gaining some sort of favor or consideration’. It’s commonly confused with the similar ‘Idiotic’ phrase, “to batter up” which means to ‘stick-it’ to obnoxious baseball fans and slather them up in a slurry of corn-dog goo.

Nonsense aside, in today’s health-conscious times, is it best to be ‘buttering’ anything up, or should we move beyond the butter to something that will pack our arteries just a wee bit slower? Beyond the verbal difficulties of phrasing margarines into catchy idioms, even the ‘light’ version butter substitutes contain trans-fats which are hard on coronary arteries. Trans-Fats and ‘chemically engineered ‘ hydrogenated oils actually build-up ‘bad’ LDL cholesterol and reduce ‘good’ HDL cholesterol. An easy mnemonic to remember the good, bad, and ugly of cholesterol is forget the ‘D’ in the middle and just remember ‘L= Limited Life’ for the bad LDL, and the ‘H= Healthy Life’ for the good in HDL! Go here for a much healthier butter ‘replacer’ recipe if you are committed to living long enough to become a burden on society.

Ok, I know all that healthy talk has probably depressed you and made you fall off the ‘fat wagon’. You’ve clearly earned a treat, so if you are a fan of buttered popcorn then check out this easy recipe I saw in Southwest Airlines’ July 2010 Spirit Magazine. This gem is by sous chef Nate Boer, on how to make ‘Popcorn Butter’ for warm bread, muffins, waffles etc. I’m sure you could melt the stuff and pour it on popcorn too, but that would be kind of creepy in a ‘corny’ cannibalistic way don’t you think?

Simply grind up 2 ½ cups of fresh popcorn in a food processor to a sand texture and then mix in a ½ pound of softened unsalted butter, 1 ½ tablespoons of honey, and salt to taste – THAT’S IT! This popcorn ‘schmear’ is so fast , delicious, and incredibly simple to make. If you are ‘all thumbs’, or have no thumbs at all, even in mixed company, you can now proudly demonstrate your ‘kernal knowledge’. Should the thought of a compote of ‘cornpone cream’ bother you but you still are interested in ‘buttering‘ yourself with something different, then go HERE for a complete list of flavored better than butter recipes. Whew I need a nap - all this alliteration has made me sleepy! Please turn off the light when you leave and REMEMBER – tuck me in tight under my ‘bread spread’!