Tape me as I am

Did you ever notice how much tape (red and otherwise) that life tangles you up in? I actually cannot believe how many rolls of the stuff that are laying around here in bins, drawers, and toolboxes throughout the garages. I guess we obviously must be still worried about the possibility of another tear gas assault on the compound? It doesn’t make sense however because ever since we ran out of that sheet plastic, all we have left to fill in the gaps around the doors and windows is used Frito bags.

Anyway, I don’t think we are that extreme as tape fanatics go but it sure seems that way. I set out to inventory all of these rolls of tape and see why I am apparently ‘stuck’ on the stuff. I have 2 rolls of 'blue' tape for painting when I'm sad, because it pulls away from the walls easier but of course it won’t prevent paint bleeding, so for that you need a roll of ‘Frog Tape’. It’s maddening that this stuff is so expensive, so I think it’s real BULL frog or some other type actual tadpole mash that gives it the green color.

I have what looks like a Lego color wheel of 5 small rolls of electrical tape for covering up pointy things or stuff that tries to electrocute me. The Lone Ranger would be proud because in a bin I found 3 rolls of duct tape in various shades of ‘silver’. Next to that was 6 rolls of masking tape in various widths. Sadly I don’t know what color you call masking tape since its not quite beige but markedly more tan than my one pasty white foot in the grave.

Inside the hovel is where you start finding all the ‘crafty’ type tape. I have a half-used roll of ‘foam’ tape. That’s a kind of funny name when you think about it - akin to ‘whipped cream’ tape when you ‘tear into’ a hot cherry pie. Of course we have a roll of double-sided tape whenever I want to wrap gifts for my two-faced friends. For ordinary wrapping of cheap gifts that I give, I found 4 rolls of ‘Scotch’ tape. Do the math and you’ll see that I have two dozen rolls of tape sticking in my craw. Oh I know I actually only listed 23 rolls, but that’s because I’m sure there is a large roll of ‘Invisible’ clear tape around here too – it’s just that I currently don’t SEE it!