Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Red Devil Juice

Can somebody explain the connection between Satan’s bodily functions and hot sauce names? I have to be honest there are few products that I would willingly put on my food if I found out they have the Devil’s personal endorsement. Yet people seem to line up to cover their ribs and wings and other body parts with these unusually spicy named sauces.

My wife recently brought home a sample of some restaurant’s “Satan’s volcano” sauce. The stuff is eye-watering hot as advertised. I have not compared it to the pack of “Devil’s spit” hot sauce I have in the fridge but I am assuming the SPIT is not as warm as 'Devil's blood' sauce, and no where near as hot as any volcano, especially one claimed by Satan.

Now this hot saucy name phenomena is not limited to any one region of the country like the South or the West. No I have been as far North as Seward, Alaska that proudly displayed their 200 or so different bottles of sauces to try right there on the wharf. Also when the town was not possessed by ALL of the world’s motorcycles in one square mile, I even popped into a restaurant in Sturgis, South Dakota. This place was a pretty normal main street diner except that all flat surfaces have empty bottle of nasty-named hot sauces. Honestly some of these hot sauce names would make the devil blush, but you’d never know it – him being 'well red' and all.

So I’m not really sure how the normally DEMONstrative ’Prince of Darkness’ allowed his juices to get quietly hijacked by these hot sauce manufacturers? You’d think somebody as high profile in today’s society as the devil, he would have legions of evil spawn to protect his brand’s ‘bad name’, and do his evil bidding? Oh I forgot he does – they are called ACLU LAWYERS! Anyway, I have linked The SAUCE STORE web site here if you’re burning for some hot and spicy reading. Remember the ‘devil is in the details’ so beyond the horned one’s namesakes, if you browse a bit you might ADD a new sauce or two to tickle your fancy. Remember of course, they tickle a lot less on the BACKSIDE of that equation!


  1. Ah quite the contrary my blogging friend, sounds like these hot sauces ARE the spawn of satan. Better watch youself and keep an eye on that head of yours should you partake in some fiery juice, you just might grow some horns!

    Could be satans plan!

  2. ACLU lawyers!!! ROFLMAO!!!! I knew there was a reason I liked you!!!!

  3. HAHA, you are tooo funny. I am now following you buy the way. Follow me back at blogtrolls.blogspot.com

  4. Greatness. You have such a way with words. I hope you're writing a book!

    PS - I had a habanero eating contest with a guy at the local Farmer's Market once. I'll never do that again!

  5. I try 'em all, but always seek that tiny bottle of Tabasco Sauce. Sister-in-law's hubby told me he saw a TV program on how it's made. Worried that guys filling the Aging Barrels dripped sweat in it! If so, it doesn't stay in the sauce if you eat enough of it, just drips back out of your forehead.
    Glad Louisiana has McIlhenny's at Avery Island to keep us going 'til the shrimp come back.