Monday, June 28, 2010

Furniture salespeople frustrations

I’m not sure why I don’t like furniture sales people. I know it is not fair since all they are trying to do is help me find that perfect padded fabric-covered platform for my lazy posterior. That is not an easy task either, since I have somewhat of a bad reputation for destroying chairs and recliners. Who can afford this stuff too? These days I need to get a letter of credit from a bank just to buy a set of TV stands.

I think the fundamental problem is that those irritating furniture sales folks flock so quickly and attack me when I walk in the door. What if every business operated this way? Can you imagine trying to pick out a nice piano crate to bury your favorite fat, but dead Uncle, when all of a sudden a half-dozen pale morticians descended on you like Robin on a yard worm?

I know it is tough competitive sales work to be locked in a barn full of sticks and cushions that most people don’t really need. I mean you KNOW most everyone that walks in a furniture store already OWNS stuff to sit, sleep, and eat on. In my case it all just happens to be the same dusty, broken down easy chair. Yeah I have thought occasionally about replacing the beast when the buttons and springs start leaving indentations on my body. But invariably, I pull out the duct tape, plump the pillows, and then brush off the runaway Froot Loops to make that old recliner as good as new.

I don’t know, maybe like my bar stools, I am being too hard on these velour vendors of furniture row. I should be more considerate and try to ‘couch’ my displeasure better when greeted on the sales floor. I’m sure if my paycheck depended on how many rumps I lowered into loveseats every day, I would be even MORE irritating than I am now too. I’m not sure if that is possible though? Fortunately all the salary I need can be found underneath the ample nooks and crannies of my favorite bank, ‘Lazy-Boy Savings and Loan’.

1 comment:

  1. If you'd quit farting in the furniture, you wouldn't have to replace it so often. Just say'n.