Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Tied up in NOTS

I think I am the last remaining man on earth who likes to wear ties. I see more women these days wearing ties than men though, which kind of makes me wonder about myself? Ties are still sold in every store I go into, so I have to believe somebody is buying them for work – but who is wearing them?

I kind of consider ties as my definition of a work uniform or something more formal than just hanging out and eating cheese doodles while surfing the net. No I don’t wear a tie at home while writing but it might not be a bad idea for something to dab my furrowed brow. The only problem is that I do not have any perfect ties that will compliment my particular shade of underwear.

My first job out of college REQUIRED me to wear a suit and tie every day. Once at the office, I would then switch into a perfectly bleached white and pressed smock which was also required. Most of the ladies in the office hated putting on a smock of any color after they had spent all that time dressing to the nines before arriving. But I loved wearing that smock with my tie underneath because I looked dressed for business, but I could get messy whenever the job required it.

Once I wore my smock out of the office and went to fill up my car at a gas station. As I got out of the car and fumbled with the gas nozzle, a woman came up to me with a worried look. She asked ‘is something wrong with the gasoline’? She thought I was some lab monkey that had escaped and was testing the fuel at the station. Lucky I had not worn a bow tie with the get-up or she may have asked me the weather too?

Other than at weddings or with a tux, I never wear bow ties just for fun, though if I had a spinning one I might? Let’s hope the ladies do NOT follow the men down that path too. I am NOT sure if it is safe for girls with spinning bows on their bushy heads . All of that hair flying around will NOT look good tightly tied up in nasty kNOTs.


  1. Lab monkey, huh? "Snort" is right!
    Maybe you shouldn't have squatted while playing those little tin cymbals.

    I got worn out wearing ties years ago. They choke me. I'd say those were truly "The Ties that Bind."