The Luxuries of Laundry

What’s the deal with all of this luxurious stuff required to do laundry now days? I rolled in an overloaded hamper into the laundry room and was faced with a cabinet full of sprays, detergents, brushes and those irritating sorting bins. I cannot believe all this is necessary to get the stink out of clothes. How do people who live under bridges or in cardboard boxes handle such chores?

Do you think our ancient ancestors put up with all of this processing and these intricate procedures to prepare their loin cloths for quality time with a rock in the river? I honestly doubt it. As I recall, whenever I’ve ventured to antique shops, all that was required was a tin tub and a washboard. Even the more modern washing machines simply had a motor, pulley, and an impeller to slosh the clothes around – what else do you need?

We have spray that specifically attacks stains, little bottles to preserve colors, big bottles to supposedly wash the clothes, bleach for whites, and some kind of conditioner packets. After the clothes go for a swim, then they get to tumble around in the heat, like a day at the beach, with some anti static sheets. Eventually the duds will finally find their way racked on hangers of every size, shape, color, and configuration.

Sometimes I wonder if those homeless folks are on to something with their simple, no frills lifestyle. I’m fairly capable at walking around with a month’s worth of grime ground into my clothes. Just think of all the water I could save if I did all my wash in a local city fountain. I could sort my vast wardrobe of socks and overcoats using sturdy chrome shopping carts instead of those flimsy plastic baskets we use now. And even if I can’t quite get all the 'ripe', street-people ardor washed out, you know the drying will really be top notch. After-all, when your homeless, hanging around stinky is the ONE THING you’re pretty darn good at.