Sunday, June 27, 2010

Boo-tiful Girl

My kid has been working on a kind of a tropical project around the house. So today she came in dragging these hunks of giant bamboo shoots that she needs cut in half lengthwise to use as sort of an edge trim. I have become immune to her artistic proclivities by now so anything seems normal even if it isn’t. Uh, I guess she forgot that we do not live in Hawaii or even Florida. The only bamboo and sand we see around here is in the cat litter box display at Petland.

Anyway, I think I can cut her giant 'BOO' poles on a table saw or probably better yet with a saber saw. What strikes me though is how versatile these big tubes could be, even beyond her trim application. Honestly they look like big straws to me. I cannot tell you how much I wanted to stick one of those into a vast vat of milk and start attempting to draw up a mouthful of cow.

Obviously if that is not weird enough, I wondered how much toilet paper I would have to wad and chew up to make a half-way decent spit wad. I doubt I have the lung capacity to motivate anything out of that big tube but I bet my compressor could do the job. Is this the kind of stuff Hawaiian’s think about all day when tromping through those giant racking bamboo forests or is this just a Missouri problem?

I hope my kid has a couple of bamboo ends left over. I am thinking they would make very unique, exhaust tip extensions for my car. Maybe if I drill a few holes in those tropical tubes the car will sound like a motorized recorder hooting all the way down the street. Bamboo in Missouri – is that even legal? I’ll never understand why, but I have to admit it, my kid is so weird – I think she gets it from her mother.

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