Cone to Cream Paradox

Though my wife ‘T’ is not particularly infatuated with ice cream, she does love a good Sugar Cone. Since those cones have no tops, they aren’t much good for gun powder so the wife ends up with Breyer’s Vanilla ice cream on top instead. If she is going to take in the calories, no other brand or flavor is an adequate substitute.

Now my kid on the other hand has a preference for those regular flat-bottom cake cones but she prefers any kind of ice cream EXCEPT vanilla. Since I am more from the ‘tar pit’ edge of history, I possess many mammoth qualities in addition to the prerequisite sticky pits. So I live by the rule that I will eat just about ANYTHING that is smaller than I am and does not gag on me as a hot appetizer first.

So goes the paradox. My freezer can barely hold another bag of frozen peas, much less ten kinds of ice cream. All this flavored ice cream real estate is kind of cramping my freezer’s tater-tot to pizza roll reserve ratio. I have room in the cupboard for both styles of cones, but all that protective crush-proof packaging is very bulky. The Cream of Wheat remains loyal, but it has heard rumors and rumblings from the cold cereals of a possible mutiny if things don’t change soon. I clearly need a combo Cream n’ Cone solution and fast.

I really think I am creative enough to solve this problem. Aren’t both types of cones REALLY made out of sugar anyway? I’m sure the cake cups must have sugar in them or they would be tasteless like cardboard – oh wait, THEY ARE! Ok then, let’s start off easier and check the refrigerator to try to dress-up that plain vanilla ice cream into something special for the kid. Hmmm, I’ve got pepperoni, jalepenos, dill pickles, leftover tater-tots – for some reason I’m feeling this combo is leaning more towards a pizza than my creamy iced-treat goal?

Oh forget it, I’ll just have to acquire a second freezer for my tots, peas, and party snacks. Let those picky specialty brands of flavored creams and cones keep the other ice-box all to themselves. I learned that problem-solving technique from our politicians. “There is never a problem of our own making that is too big to tackle, or too small to ignore.” Of course, the REAL paradox is getting someone ELSE to handle the problem for you, and then most importantly, pay for it, no matter what the cost, with THEIR OWN MONEY! Gee I wonder who will loan me a couple of million bucks for a big variety of ice cream, cones, and a really GOOD freezer?