Be'n Gay

Oh no, it’s happened – I have officially crossed over to the dark side. No don’t worry, I have not ventured into moral oblivion or declared jihad upon the world’s only remaining superpower – Wal Mart. No this pain that I feel, is deeper, much much deeper, so I finally broke down and bought a tube of mentholated ‘geezer’ rub.

Well actually it was a two for the price of one, ‘double-tube’ deal so on the plus side my aging brain is still value conscious, even if the rest of my sagging sack of achy flesh is in a vegetative state. Yes, I have some tennis elbow action going on in the right arm even though my personal game of choice is badminton with the emphasis on the ‘BAD’. I don’t think this is truly arthritis or carpal tunnel issues since I know I strained the muscle doing work in the garage. But nonetheless, it is clear that I don’t heal as fast as when I was a spry young pup. So after two weeks, I finally resorted to the big greasy, pungent warmth of my GAY friend, BEN to heal me.

Ben Gay is actually an odd name for any product despite the modern connotation. Supposedly it is the Americanized pronunciation of the French doctor’s name who invented the stuff. Beyond the ego thing of naming your pet science project after yourself (remember Frankenstein?), the label says nothing about the properties of the goo inside the tube (or at least I hope it doesn’t). The other brands brag about their ‘deep heating’ qualities or ‘icy hotness’ but Ben gay – well maybe it just makes you happy?

In fact my tube of ‘Geezer Schmear’ does make me happy. I seem to be starting to warm up to the idea of living a life where the fresh scent of menthol permeates the air, chairs, bed and car. My arm is feeling better already. In fact I now have some amazing dexterity with my wrist and elbow that I don’t remember? Look at that, my hand looks like a pecking bird head when I flex it rapidly back and forth. OH MY GOSH – the Ben Gay really IS WORKING . . . I can feel my wrist getting ‘ more limp’ with each passing minute!